Soul Man 1: Bring Me to Life
by MidnightSon
Summary: Set five years after the Angel Series Finale 'Not Fade Away' Spike's changed, at his lowest ebb. Framed for a crime he didnt commit he sets out to clear his name.


Soul Man

"Bring Me To Life"

**Rated: M for mature teens and older.**

**Disclaimer: The characters used here are owned by Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy, except for the minor character of the new Oracle who I created myself.**

**Summary: This is the first part of the Soul Man series, my Spike-centric series idea, with more hopefully to come. Set five years after the Angel Series Finale 'Not Fade Away' Spike's changed, at his lowest ebb. Framed for a crime he didnt commit he sets out to clear his name and get revenge, encountering old friends and enemies on the way.**

**Acknowledgements: I'd like to thank the fine folks at the Buffy Internet Dialogue Database ( for the resource they provided. I used it provide a lot of the dialogue for the flashback sequences and I strongly recommened it to anyone who's a fan. On a personal note I'd like to thank my best friend (she knows who she is) for encouraging me to keep going with this and for any future installments I write. She was a great sounding board to bounce ideas off and she let me ramble on about where i wanted go with this. Really would not have got this finished without her, so thanks.**

Los Angeles, 2004…

"COME ON YOU WANKERS!"

Spike flew into the attacking group of the Fell Brethren, his fists a blur. He grabbed one as he landed, smiling at the sickening sound of the demon's neck breaking. He thrust his knife into the stomach of one coming at his right. His hand flicked behind him, embedding a dagger in the throat of a Fell coming at his rear.

"Come on fellas" he taunted, dancing from foot to foot. Another demon ran at him sword poised to strike. Spike pivoted on to the side grabbing the arm of the attacking demon. With a minimum of effort he broke the demons arm, causing the demon to howl in agony, soon silenced by a Spike's fist. Spike looked at the remaining demons, a lopsided grin forming. "Anyone else wanna chance it?" The only response was a chorus of clanging as the demons threw their weapons at the ground. Spike's grin grew wider 'Guess not…the Big Bad's still got it" he smirked.

He looked down at the blood which was staining his hands, already beginning to be washed away by the rain. He touched his side, the burning agony there telling him the nights battles had taken their toll. He tasted the coppery tang of his blood in his mouth. Throughout the city he heard demons howl and people scream. Innocent people, who were suffering because of the choices Spike, had been a part of. People were dying…and it was partly his fault. He bowed his head.

"God" he muttered "How did we let if get this far?" He rubbed his temples with his fingers, trying to ignore the stinging tears of frustration in his eyes. "Wolfram and Hart…Fred…How could we miss it?" He was knocked out of his despair by the sound of footfalls in the alley below. From his rooftop, he peered down to see Angel running through the alley, towards the Hyperion hotel. Spike drew himself up, his old arrogance beginning to show.

"If you think you're beating me there mate, you got another thing coming" he said to no one in particular. Without a further word, he started to leap across rooftops, towards the Hyperion.

* * *

Cleveland, 2009…

Spike shot up in his bed, sweat dripping from his body. He looked around the room taking in his surroundings, remembering where he was. Clothes were strewn in a haphazard fashion across the floor. His duster was hanging across the back of a chair. The room was littered with half empty take out boxes and beer cans. Realising where he was Spike drew his knees up beneath the covers and held his head in his hands.

"Christ…same bloody dream every night" he muttered "What the hell does it mean?" He reached out to his nightstand and shook a cigarette out of its carton. His hands shaking he placed the cigarette in his mouth and brought his lighter up. He blew the smoke out his mouth and sighed. Shaking his head he threw the covers off and staggered into the bathroom. He fumbled for the light switch , only to turn it on and be blinded by the sudden brilliance illuminating the room. He pressed both hands on to the sink and looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. The face staring back at him was one he barely recognised.

His face was mostly obscured by a beard, grown from lack of shaving, not in some notion of fashion. He ran his fingers threw it, feeling the rough coarse brown fibres with his fingers. His hair had also grown long and unkempt, its colour a hybrid of peroxide blonde and his natural brown. His brown eyes were sunken and withdrawn. His mouth curled into a snarl at his reflection and with a guttural roar, his fist lashed out and smashed into the mirror, spreading a spider web of cracks. Spike looked down at his blood-stained fist and sighed.

"Seven more bloody years…sounds about right" he sighed as he turned the tap on, rinsing his hand under it in an attempt to cleanse it of the blood. He walked back into the bedroom and noticed that rays of the Cleveland sun were still shining through the heavy curtains. Damn he thought. He didn't want to go out his early.

He sat back down onto his bed, head cradled in his hands. His mind kept drawing back to his dream, of the night that they'd made their stand. He kept seeing them. Gunn, Illryia, hell even Angel as they stood side by side against the darkness. He kept seeing flashing's of the battle, of the blood and the screaming that followed. Inevitably his mind came back to what happened after. He reached out and lit another cigarette, savouring the nicotine rush as he took a drag. It helped him forget…for the most part.

He sat there in silent contemplation. His head inclined towards his bedside drawer. He sat there looking, his eyes showing fear, as if there was some terrible thing in there, waiting to pounce on him. After a moment's consideration, he opened the door and removed a scrap of paper. The paper had a phone number inscribed on it. A local phone number. Spike slowly reached out for his telephone handset and looked at it warily. Slowly he began to punch in the number, each press of the button sent a sharp stab of fear into his gut. The number completed he held the handset to his ear

BRRRING!

Damn it it's a stupid idea.

BRRRING!

What if she doesn't answer?

BRRRING!

Anyone could answer be it the Whelp, Red or even Nibblet.

BRRRING!

No way can he talk to them.

BRRRING!

Hang up Spike, hang up

"Hello? Summer's residence. Buffy speaking."

His stomach dropped like a lead balloon. Her voice hadn't changed. It still had the mix of happiness and optimism that made his heart ache. His head kept telling him to say something but his mouth wouldn't work. He couldn't find the words.

"Is anyone there?"

Come on you stupid sod say something!

"Hello?"

Damn it say something, anything is better than this!

"Angel?"

Spike slammed down the handset in frustration. He didn't blame her. Not really. Angel was her eternal love. Always bloody had been. So what did that make him? A fling? A substitute? It had to have meant more. God knows it had for him. He loved her with all his heart and soul. He gave a bitter smile at the irony of it. He had gone to that demon to get the bloody chip out of his head but instead got the one thing that could have made Buffy love him. A soul. But still he wasn't the man he needed to be for her to love him.

"She'll tell you. Someday she'll tell you."

The words of the blonde girl back in Sunnydale drifted to him from over the years. He dimly remembered her name, Cassie or even possibly Carrie. She'd been a friend of Dawn's, some kind of prophet or seer, who had predicted her own death. The slayer didn't accept that. Spike smiled. It was just like her not to accept destiny, to kick up a fuss in the face of the inevitable. Of course, the blonde girl had died, you can't escape fate. He had become living proof of that. Before she died, in the middle of a battle, in the middle of his post soul mania she had told him.

"She'll tell you. Someday she'll tell you."

He tried to tell himself it was bull. That there was no way she could ever say those words. Yet all the girls' prophecies had come true and so had this one. The last time he'd seen her, properly seen her. Back in Sunnydale…in the Hellmouth.

* * *

Sunnydale Hellmouth, 2003

Angel's amulet began to glow, seeming to give off heat. He fumbled with it, tugging at the heavy chain. He began to stumble to the back of the cavern

"Buffy!" he cried "Whatever this thing does, I think it's doing it!"

She didn't hear him. Oh how so bloody typical. The amulet kept forcing him back, as if his body was being pushed by some unseen force. He was just about to shout put to her again, as he noticed her barking orders at the assembled slayers.

"Keep the line together! Drive them to the edge! We can't let them do…"

Whatever her order it was to be, it was suddenly cut off by a sword protruding from her gut. He wanted to cry her name but all he could do was gasp. He couldn't even run towards her because of the bloody amulet round his neck.

He saw her fall to the ground in shock, her hand clutching her wound. Come on you stupid bints! Someone notice her, help her!

"Buffy!" Of all people, Faith had noticed. She ran over to Buffy and knelt by her. He saw the blonde slayer exchange some words with her and then hand over the scythe. Spike knew what she was doing: passing the torch. God, don't let it be this way, it can't end here not now. He watched Faith run off to resume the battle, leaving Buffy alone. She couldn't die alone, unnoticed not again. He needed to be with her at the end.

The battle raged on around him but all he could see was her. He noticed her looking up around at the troops, her slayers. He watched her watch them fall. Spike didn't need to see her eyes to know that every death was imprinting on her soul. She turned her head as if listening something, something that he couldn't see, couldn't hear. Figures that the First would take the time to gloat. He almost couldn't bear to watch, yet he couldn't look away.

If his heart could beat, it surely would have broken his chest as he saw Buffy's face become to be set in determination. Slowly she pushed herself back up, her eyes never leaving what could only be the First. She rose to her full height, her eyes grim and determined. Her words were quiet, yet they seemed to carry over the sounds of the raging battle and to Spike's ears.

"I want you to get out of my face!" she grimaced.

Oh yeah that's my girl he thought proudly. That's my slayer. Well done pet.

He was snapped out of his reverie as the amulet started to pulse even brighter. It started to burn into his chest. He looked down. Suddenly he found his voice again.

"Oh bollocks."

Before he had time to say anything else the sunlight burst out of the amulet and up through the roof of the cavern, up through the Hellmouth and into the school above. Rubble came down all around him as sunlight poured into the cavern, enveloping him in a golden glow. Bugger, no way this was going to be any good for him. With a sudden finality he knew this was going to be it for him. He would perish in the golden rays. He knew he didn't want to die without seeing her one last time.

"Buffy!" he cried. As his words carried over the cavern she turned around to look at him. He could have sworn he saw concern pass over her eyes. God, don't let him be delusional as well as barbequed.

"Spike!" she cried. He had time to give a small smile before he felt the amulet's energy gather again. Without warning, a beam of sunlight burst out the amulet into the attacking crowd of Turok-Han. The cavern was filled with the roars of the incinerating uber-vamps. The cavern began to shake and fall apart from the pure force of the energy. Spike was deaf and blind to everything except the excruciating pain erupting from his chest. Then the pain dulled and he opened his eye's to see Buffy standing in front of him. With a sudden clarity he knew the Powers That Be had deigned to give him this moment, to say goodbye. Bloody big of them that. He looked at her and smiled.

"I can feel it, Buffy" he told her.

"Feel what?" she asked, her voice soft.

"My soul" he replied. "It's really there." It was a hell of a time to find that out for certain. "It kinda stings" he joked. She gave him a slight smile.

For the longest time she stood there. God she was beautiful.

"Go on then" he urged. For once in your life please listen to me.

"No! You've done enough! You could still…" she pleaded. God how I wish I could he thought.

"No you've beaten them back" he told her, his voice not betraying the remorse he felt. "It's time for me to do the cleanup."

"Buffy come on!" he heard Faith shout. Listen to her pet, please.

"Gotta move, lamb" he urged her. "I think it's fair to say school's out for bloody summer."

"Spike!" she pleaded. Damn you had to go make this so much harder for me didn't you?

"I mean it!" he ordered. "I gotta do this!" In his heart he knew that to be true. This was his blaze of glory. He met her eye's willing her to go. Instead she took his hand in hers their fingers locking. He felt his hand begin to burn, the skin sizzled with the heat. But still she held on.

"I love you" she said and with that his heart broke. Because it wasn't true. It could never be true, despite how much he may want it. It just wasn't right for her. She deserved much better than him.

"No you don't" he told her. "But thanks anyway" There was so much more he wanted to say. Be happy, forget me. It's time to live your life. But there was no time. "Now GO!" he shouted. With one last look she ran up the stairs and onto the rest of her life. As she left he looked into the cavern, into hell.

"I want to see how it ends."

As he felt his skin began to cook, he found his mind filled with scenes of the past six years. Rolling into Sunnydale and knocking down that stupid-arse welcome sign. Shame he wouldn't have a chance to do that again. First meeting Buffy, all cockiness and swaggering. Their first fight. Being hit over the head with a fire extinguisher by Joyce. Being temporarily crippled. Forging an alliance with Buffy against Angelus. Drunkenly roaring back into town in an attempt to get a love spell to get back with Drusilla. Telling Joyce his relationship problems, over cocoa and marshmallows. Getting together with Harmony. Being captured by the Initiative and ending up with that bloody chip in his head. Throwing himself on the mercy of the Slayer and her friends and betraying them for Adam and then promptly switching back. Realising that he loved Buffy. Running to her house with the intent of shooting her, only to end up comforting her. Feeling remorse for Joyce, the first human death he had mourned in over 200 years. Getting Warren to build the Buffybot. Getting tortured by Glory to reveal the location of the Key, soon after being kissed by Buffy. His failiure in preventing her death. His joy at seeing her back. His horror at learning she had been in heaven only to be ripped out. Singing his soul out to her in his crypt. Their passionate kiss outside the Bronze with the rising music and the rising…music. Their secret, passionate affair and their discovery by Riley. Buffy breaking up with him. His vain attempts to make her jealous. His attempted rape. Getting back his soul. Returning to the basement of Sunnydale High and spending weeks talking to ghosts. Being controlled by the First and killing those people. Being captured and tortured by the First in order to raise the Turok-Han. Buffy rescuing him, looking like an angel of mercy. The pain as his chip degraded, the eventual removal of it. The last night he spent with Buffy…before the battle. Six years filled with agony and ecstasy. The best years of his life.

It was fitting in a way that his life was ending here, in Sunnydale, a town which in his own words, had seen some truly spectacular kicking's of his arse. He began to feel his skin and muscle burning away from the bone. He could feel his organs exploding inside his chest. He could feel his eyeballs melting in his sockets.

As he died he began to laugh. It made sense really.

Then there was darkness.

* * *

Cleveland, 2009…

With a jolt, Spike shot up in bed, sweat dripping down his body. When did he fall back to sleep? How long had he been out? His room had turned pitch dark. He lent over and switched on the lamp, filling the room with light. Why was he dreaming these things? Remembering the time gone by? He was meant to be moving on, forgetting the past few years. All the changes, all the blood. But part of him obviously wanted to stay there. To remember. Because lets face it, living in the past was beginning to be a hell of a lot better than living in the now.

He shook his head. He knew where thoughts like this lead. Always to the same place. Always to her…He sighed and reached under his pillow, withdrawing a picture frame. He closed his eyes almost daring not to look. In the end he always opened them.

The picture was of his Slayer. Buffy. The picture clearly was one taken without her knowledge, had taken her unaware. Her smile was too pure, too joyous to have been faked. She hadn't changed much since they had last spoke. Her hair was longer, she looked more mature but she was still the same girl. To his eyes she had grown even more beautiful.

His fingertips traced the picture longingly. His heart, his entire body ached for her, he needed her. But she didn't need him. She was happy, she'd moved on. She didn't need him to come back and mess things up for her, not now. Not now she had learned to live. He was just some sorry git who couldn't let go.

With a heavy sigh he replaced the picture underneath his pillow and trudged over to the small, substandard kitchen area. He opened his fridge and inspected the contents. It was a sorry sight. Half empty bottles of milk, beer and a very suspect lump of cheese. At random he picked one of the bottles of milk and took a swig. As soon as the milk touched his tongue, his eyes turned wide and bulged. The milk erupted from his mouth, as he spat it out, spreading it over the counter. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Bugger" he muttered. Shaking his head he opened one of the cupboards and reached in for cereal. Grabbing a bowl he poured the contents in, emptying the box. With a shake, he threw it to the floor.

"Lucky Charms…the cereal of champions." He turned around to the living area. He recoiled as he saw the little girl sitting on his bed, staring at him with piercing blue eyes. She had blonde hair and was wearing dungarees over a pink shirt. She wore a beaming smile on her face.

"BAH!" he exclaimed throwing his bowl and cereal into the air. "Who the bleedin hell are you?"

"A guide" she responded simply.

"Right…" Spike tilted his head as if considering her. "Piss off". He turned his back on her.

"But what's important is what's happening here." Spike stopped as he heard his words from years ago relayed back at him in that sweet childlike voice. "Fred gave her life for it. The least I can do is give what's left of mine. The fight's coming, Angel. We both feel it... and it's gonna be a hell of a lot bigger than Illryia. Things are gonna get ugly. That's where I live."

Spike looked back at her, in mute disbelief.

"I'm just a guy who can lend a hand, if you'll let me" she continued, looking as if she was daring him to react. He looked at her incredulously.

"Every night after that. I'd see it all again ... do something different. Faster or more clever, you know? Dozens of times, lots of different ways ... Every night I save you."

"Stop it" he said softly.

"I've lived for soddin ever, Buffy. I've done everything. I've done things with you I can't spell? But I've never been close? To anyone. Least of all you. Until last night. All I did was hold you, watch you sleep? And it was the best night of my life." She continued

"No more, please." His eyes were closed.

"I know you'll never love me. I know that I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man, and that's... Get your stuff. I'll be here."

"Please…stop."

"I believe in you Spike." Those words were not his. Buffy. That was all he could take.

"DAMN YOU STOP!" he screamed "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?"

"To remind you of who you are. You've forgotten"

"I hate who I am. I'm weak."

"You're strong."

"That's a whole load of bollocks"

"Would you rather be who you were?"

"What do you mean?"

"Slaaayer! Here, kitty, kitty. I find one of your friends first, I'm gonna suck 'em dry. And use their bones to bash your head in. Are you getting a word picture here?"

The words chilled him to the bone. They were from a colder man, a more callous man. A man who killed for fun. The man he was in the past.

"She is cute when she is hurting, isn't she?"

"That's…"

"Bitch is gonna see a change"

"…ENOUGH!"

He whirled around and strode towards the girl, and grabbed her by the arms.

"What right do you have?" he shook her, his voice low and threatening.

"I'm your guide. You need to do more."

"I've done enough." He let her go and walked by the window. Night had fallen.

"There is more. You can't escape destiny."

"Watch me"

"You won it. What you both sought. Go to her."

"No."

"There is hardship ahead."

"Huh, ain't there always?"

"The Powers That Be have decreed you their champion. You must fight."

"No way! The Power's have no right to mess with a bloke's destiny that way. If I had my way I'd still be ash at the bottom of that Hellmouth. Instead of what I am now. Besides…don't they already have one?"

"He…has proven unsuitable."

"Bully for him."

"It is written…"

"Shut it."

Silence.

"Do what you're heart desires. There isn't much time."

At this he whirled around only to find his apartment empty. He looked around trying to find where she had gone.

"Protect her. Protect them" her voice whispered to him from nowhere. Creepy little girl. Bugger if he was doing this again.

"Screw you" he told his apartment. "Piss off I'm not doing that anymore. I'm past it." He sighed. "Can't stay here" he muttered. He strode over to his wardrobe and pulled out a shirt. He put it on and picked up his duster and walked out of the door, into the Cleveland night.

* * *

He ended up in a bar. He always ended up in a bar. This was a pretty classy place, well classy compared to some of the places he frequented, but still a place to go when you wanted to be anonymous. Just one of the faceless masses on a Friday night. That's just the type of place he wanted to bet.

He hated being a pawn of those bloody Powers. Was it too much to ask just to let him get on with it? It always amounted to the same thing. He was no doubt destined to be a champion, to fight off the apocalypse or some high and mighty hellgod. They always forgot to add the part where you get royally screwed for your trouble. Well he'd done the champion bit, he got barbequed for his trouble. They could go hang for all he cared.

He looked down at his glass. Empty. He wasn't nearly drunk enough yet.

"When you're ready luv" he gestured to the bartender, a good looking woman who had been giving him the eye all night, despite his less than groomed state. Well you either had it or you didn't.

"What'll be it babe?"

"Another glass…screw it, give me the bottle"

She reached under the bar and placed the cheap whiskey in front of him. He nodded his thanks and reached into his pocket for another cigarette. He put it between his lips and began to pat himself for a lighter. The bartender extended one in front of him.

"Here" she said.

He accepted it gratefully and took a drag.

"Something on your mind sugar?" she asked.

"You could say that" he replied.

"It's a girl? Guy handsome as you it's always a girl."

"You have no idea, luv" he laughed bitterly. The bartender lent onto the bar.

"Tell me then" she smiled. Don't think I don't see you pushing your cleavage, sending me signals with your eyes, trying to tempt me. 200 years experience I can see the signs. What the hell, why not? He gave a small smile.

"It's a long story."

"I have the time"

Okay then.

"Guess you could say it started years ago. Understand I was a different person back then. I was a right proper mummy's boy I was. There was a girl back then as well, Cecily her name was. You know I was a poet back then? Hard to believe now aint it?"

"You were a poet?"

"Bollocks was what I was" he took a swig from the bottle and gave a dismissive gesture. The room was becoming sufficiently blurry and he noticed his word's slurring. Night was looking up. He continued.

"I wrote a poem for this bird, Cecily. I was proud of it!" he said defensively. "Read it to me mum she loved it. Read it to Cecily, she shot me down, said I was 'beneath her'. Bitch" The bartender gave a small gasp.

"That's awful! I bet the poem was lovely!"

He looked at her sceptically. He took another swig of drink and started to recite.

"My soul is wrapped  
in harsh repose,  
midnight descends  
in raven-coloured clothes  
but soft...behold!  
A sunlight beam cutting a swath of  
glimmering gleam.  
My heart expands,  
'tis grown a bulge in it,  
inspired by your beauty effulgent."

The bartenders face said it all.

"That's…unique."

He smirked and took another swig.

"You ain't head the 'Wanton Folly of me Mum' luv…although they were both well received by those bikers!" he added defensively.

She looked at him quizzically. He shook his head, bringing his thoughts back.

"Bugger…where was I?

"Cecily."

"Right got ya. Well she said that and I thought sod her. I could do better. So I did what I always do. Get pissed and run into the night. That night I ran…and I met her. My Drusilla."

"My Dru…she was really something you know? I'll always remember the night I met her. It made me what I am today. She opened my eyes, gave me a new way of looking at the world. For years I never looked back, not even once. We both ran off into the night."

"What about you're Mom?"

"Oh…er…she didn't approve of Dru. Told me never to darken her doorstep never again and so on and so forth."

_Truth is I turned her into a vampire and she tried to shag me. Had to stake her. That was horrible you say? You ever had your Mum come onto you?"_

He shuddered at the memory. Another swig.

"Anyway" he continued "Dru moved in particular circles, you see. Unusual ones. She kind of had this gang. Four of us there were. Two birds, Dru and Darla and two blokes, me and Ang…Liam. We spent years, travelling the world, raising bloody hell wherever we went."

"Surprised we lasted that long. Liam…he was always a total pillock, all high and mighty 'I'm in charge'. His bark was always worse than his bite; he was a total poof he really was."

"Course, it was him that broke us up. He ran foul of these gypsies, real old world types. He…changed literally over night. Didn't want to be caught with the likes of us anymore, so he buggered off. Darla went back to this bloke, he was her Dad in a way and she stayed with him for a while. Last I heard of her for a bit."

"So for a while it was just me and Dru and it was good, really bloody good. Year's went by we started hearing about this girl in California, making quite a name in our particular circles. Well, we really had to go see this, see if all we heard was true. So off we popped to Sunnydale."

"Sunnydale?" the bartender interrupted. "That town that was in that bad earthquake?"

"OH earthquake! So that's what they're calling is it! Oh that's bloody pissing great!" he caught sight of her looking at him. "Yeah that town in the bad earthquake."

"So we rolled into Sunnydale yeah? Me and Dru" he continued, hastily trying to regain the thread of conversation. He took another swig before continuing. "Well, course weren't too long before we crossed paths with this girl."

"Thing was this girl was special. One in a million. See, for years that was all she'd been told, that she was special, that she was the only one, by her friends, her teachers. And from the moment I met her I knew that was true."

"Awwww was it love at first sight?" the bartender asked. Spike looked at her bottle pouring whiskey in his mouth with wide eyes. He just about managed to swallow his drink before erupting with laughter.

"Are you bloody kidding me? Hah! I bleedin hated the bint! We couldn't stand the sight of each other for bloody years!" He erupted into another burst of laughs. He wiped tears of laughter from his eyes as it subsided. He coughed, still giggling inanely.

"Nah" he sighed. "Not love. See luv, she already had someone anyway. You remember that Liam nonce I told you about? Well he'd found his way to Sunnydale too and into this girls knickers. Well not straight away. They were all 'eternal love' for bloody ages but, surprise surprise, they did the deed. And he changed."

"Huh" the bartender snorted. "Typical man."

"Course, when he found we were in town, he wanted to get back in the fold, like nothing had bloody happened. For a while I though 'hey this is great! The ol'gang together again!'. See luv, I had some of the best times of my life in that gang. Some good memories…but that's the thing about memories ain't it? You only remember the good stuff, not the bad. With Liam back in the picture, I started to remember the bad stuff. Mostly because it was right in front of my sodding face."

"He came back and Dru started treating me different. They had a history, I guess that's what you'd call it, so course, sly git that he was he played on that. I didn't blame her what with the history and all. He also had this weird dark broody thing going on, made all the ladies knickers moist."

"Not all of us!" the bartender exclaimed, hand pressed to her breast in an expression of mock disgust. Spike responded with a wry grin. He took another swig of his drink.

"Seriously!" he chuckled. "If I had a quid for every time his 'ooooo look at me I'm so brooding and tortured' act made one of the ladies weak in the knees I'd be a bloody rich man." She chuckled slightly at his outraged tone.

"So it didn't take long before he was giving me the push. Bastard" he muttered. "Course, I don't let anyone steal my bird. And that other girl, she was pissed at him as well. So we did the sensible thing and joined together to break them up. They never stood a bloody chance."

"Once the deed was done, me and Dru skipped town never looked back. It was going to be a new beginning, a new bloody dawn for the both of us. All I could see was our glorious future."

"I really shouldn't have been surprised when she gave me the ol' heave ho."

"No! She didn't! She really doesn't sound like a nice person!"

"What made you think she was? She was a stone cold bitch" he laughed. "For a good long time that's why I loved her." He sighed and took another swig from his bottle.

"My life went down hill after that. I tried to get back with her but she just weren't having any of it. God the things I did. I'm not ashamed to admit I did some low things to get with her but she pissed all over my efforts."

"What did you do?"

He raised his eyebrow and shook the bottle in front of her. She gave an embarrassed smile.

"I wandered a bit but I always seemed to end up back in Sunnydale, a place I can't even begin to describe my hatred for."

"Because of that other girl?"

"Because of that other girl" he agreed. "When I got there I did what any self respecting bloke would do. I threw myself completely and utterly on her mercy" he smirked.

"You did what?" she said incredulously.

"That's right" he replied. "Soon as I got back I did some things I regret. Hell I did some people I regret. These guys, they started coming after me you see? They kidnapped me, did some things to me." He noticed her aghast expression. "Oh I got over it" he continued dismissively "I managed to get away, and found this girl."

"What did she say?"

"Something along the lines of 'you brought this on yourself. You deserve everything you get.' You know the tune."

"That's awful!"

"No she was right. I honest to God did. I did some awful things back then. I was a different man" he looked down at the bar, lost in thought. After a minute he began to speak again.

"For a long time, I had to use their protection. I was a reluctant member of their little gang. Me and this girl, we fought like bloody cat and dog. But other time things changed. She'll deny it but she felt it too. I began to love her."

"I don't know what started it. It was sick and it was wrong. We were two opposites, it was never meant to have worked. Everyone was against us, her friends, her family, hell even her."

"When I told her about how I felt she knocked me back, told me where to go. Her mates all ganged up on me…it was a tough time ya know?"

She nodded in agreement.

"She went through a lot that girl she really did. She had all these responsibilities. Her Dad, pillock that he has, walked out on her and her sister and went off to Spain with some cheap tart. Lucky she had a bloody amazing Mum, she really did. Joyce was a real gem of a woman. When all the others shunned me, treated me like bloody dirt, she always had a kind word and a decent cuppa. Broke my heart when she died."

"Oh that's so sad" the bartended comforted, in a strangely false tone.

"Bloody shock it was. I've lived a long time, seen and done a lot of stuff. It's a bloody wonder what doc's can do today, don't you think? But the fact they can't save one woman seems strange don't it?" he asked rhetorically. "To me it does at least."

"So Joyce went leaving my girl alone to look after her sister." He caught himself. Unconsciously he'd began to refer to Buffy as his girl again, something which she hadn't been for a while, if she ever had been in the first place. The thought didn't bring as much pain as it normally did, just a faint burning in his heart, dulled by alcohol. Just the way he liked it.

"She went away for a bit…she didn't really have a choice in the matter I guess. She came back and…we started sleeping together. I once told a guy, that you have sex with a girl enough times, it's a relationship. Biggest load of bollocks I've ever said it really is. It meant nothing to her but it was all I had and God help me I was thankful for it."

"I guess I took advantage of her in some ways sure. Hell she took advantage of me too. She used me and then ditched me when it bloody suited her. Pissed me off it did and I did some right stupid stuff because of it. It was because of that she said that she could never love me because I'd never 'change'" he said bitterly.

"So what did you do?"

Spike considered for a minute. He drained the remaining dregs of whiskey from the bottle before answering.

"I changed."

"Things got better I guess. We got on better…we shared this one bloody amazing night together. Course the next day the whole town turned into a crater. We were forced to go our separate ways."

"Aww where did you go?"

"I guess you could say I drifted a bit. I wound up in L.A."

"L.A? But…that was attacked by terrorist's five years ago! It's just a bunch of ruins! You must have been there when it happened!"

"I was" he nodded "I was there when it all went down."

"How did you get out?"

He sat there for a long time, not seeming to realise that she still stood there. He had a far off look in his eyes, as if remembering some distant memory, as if reliving a part of his life that he wanted to forgot.

"Hey babe you okay?"

"Yeah I'm…"

_He was back there again, amongst the screaming, the pain and the blood. Someone was crying, was it him? Shouting someone's name, a golden light. A pain in his chest, in his limbs, in his soul. Stumbling into the brightness, out of the darkness. He should be burning._

"…fine" he said distantly. He shook his head. He looked to the empty bottle in his hands.

"I'm running dry luv" he shook the bottle "More."

"Sure babe…you sure that's all you want?"

He looked up. She pushed her chest towards him and stroked his hand. She was wearing a smile, which promised a lot.

"Sorry luv. You ain't her. Just the booze and nothing else." Clearly disappointed, she walked away. Alone again with memories that he didn't want. He sighed. He had a lot more drinking to do.

* * *

The door was slammed open the sound echoing in the cavernous alleyway. Spike was thrown forcefully over the threshold hitting the opposite wall with his shoulder. He bounced off it and faced the man who had tossed him through it.

"Come on you tosser, you want some?" he yelled drunkenly. The bouncer just shook his head and walked back inside, shutting the door behind him with a slam. "Yeah that's what I thought you WANKER!" he shouted at the door. "ANSWER ME!" The door remained silent.

He looked around his surroundings. He'd been in hundreds of alleys similar to this in his lifetime; they all seemed to share a common smell and atmosphere. Half burst rubbish bags had spilled their contents into overflowing bins.

He bent back his head and held the bottle high above him to drain any last drink. His mouth closed on empty air, as he realised that the bottle was devoid of any contents. He looked at it and shook it just to make sure. He threw the bottle against the wall, smashing it to pieces. He began to giggle inanely.

"I've had my fill, my share of looting!" he sang, arms held wide as if serenading the city. "And now, the tears subside!" He stumbled drunkenly through the alley. "I found it all so amusing!" he screeched. "To think I killed a cat! And may I say oh no that their way!" he fell against the wall and fell to the ground "But no, not me!" he began to laugh. "I DID IT MY WAY!" he yelled. Still laughing, he pulled himself to his feet and began to make his way down to the alley. As he staggered through he lit a cigarette. When he reached the cross roads between the intersecting alleys, his attention was drown by a scream.

"GOD SOMEONE HELP!"

His head whipped round to see its origin. He saw a crowd of people of three men, laughing and jeering. Ready to dismiss it as his imagination, he began to turn. Just as he did, the crowd parted revealing a scared looking young girl, no more than twenty. Her mascara was running down her cheeks, and her eyes were filled with fear, fear of what was to come. Long brown hair framed a pretty face, a face that achingly reminded him of Dawn. Damn.

She caught sight of him through her attackers, her eyes flashed with a burst of hope.

"HELP ME! PLEASE!" she howled.

Turn away don't look back.

"GOD PLEASE!"

It's not your damn problem.

"PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE!"

Walk away. You don't do that anymore.

The sound of a zipper being undone echoed through the alley. The sound cut through Spike, forcing his mind clear of his alcoholic daze.

That was bloody it.

Before he had any conscious knowledge of it, he was making sure, certain strides towards the men. The girl was screaming now, unable to form words. One of them was bending over her. Right mate. You first. He tapped him on the shoulder.

"Scuse me, mate I don't think the lady wants what your selling" he told him quietly. The man turned and sneered.

"In your ear Brit."

Spike smiled. His hand a blur he thrust his lit cigarette into the man's eye.

"In your eye mate."

The man howled in agony and fell to the floor, clutching his ruined eye. His companions stood there in shock, not quite knowing not to do.

"Not so fun is it when the victim fights back is it you bastard?" his foot lashed out, giving the man a broken nose to compliment his eye. His howls grew louder, echoing throughout the alley. Spike grabbed the back of his head and slammed him face first against the wall. The man slumped in a boneless heap.

Spike placed his foot on the back of the mans head and lit another cigarette. He took a long drag and blew smoke out of his mouth.

"You're gonna regret that Brit" one of the mans companion's threatened. He had a long scar running up the back of his neck.

"You think do you?" Spike muttered.

"Oh yeah we're gonna cut you up" said another. He flicked open a switchblade, the silver blade glinting in the darkness. Spike turned to the young girl

"Run." he told her. Switchblade rushed at him, blade held outstretched. "RUN NOW!" She scrambled to her feet and ran to safety. Spike shot to the side, grabbing the mans outstretched arm. His knee shot into Switchblade's groin, forcing the air out of his lungs in a shocked gasp. With a sadistic smile, he broke Switchblade's arm. The man fell to the ground, clutching his broken arm, crying. Spike's smile grew wider. He turned to Scar.

"Just you and me matey" he said in a low voice. A vicious smile played on his lips. Without warning, he leapt at the scared man. His fist lashed across Scar's face. His foot lashed out, hitting the man in the knee, breaking his leg with cruel methodical ease. Scar fell to the ground, howling in agony, clutching at his knee. Spike grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up to his face.

"Mark my words" he growled. "If I ever see you or any of your friends ever again, I will sodding rip out you heart and show it to you before you die. Do we have an understanding?" To emphasise his point, Spike grabbed the man's wrist and twisted it, the crack resounding around the alley.

"Yeah…Yeah we do man. Just don't hurt me please don't hurt me I don't wanna die" the man whimpered. A warm stain started to spread at his crotch. Spike lent in closer his voice low and threatening.

"Everyone dies mate" he whispered. "Thing is, I can make yours painful." He dropped the man to the floor. Scar curled up in a quivering heap. Spike looked at him in disgust and walked away down the alley way.

Within a few minutes he had left the girls attackers behind. It began to rain, making the path slick and wet. Spike gave a heavy sigh and pulled his coat closer in an effort to shield himself.

"You can't escape it Spike" a small voice said.

"Oh piss off little girl" He turned to see the little girl from his apartment, standing in the alley, still looking exactly the same. She looked up at him with a sweet smile. He noticed that despite the torrential downpour, the little girl remained dry. It was as if the rain just simply wasn't it hitting her.

"Fine! I'll bite. What cant I escape? And how the hell are you doing that rain thing?" he asked, his eyebrow arched. Her smile grew wider.

"Your destiny. You will protect them. When they are gone, you will find them."

"Right. Okay" he turned his back, rammed his hands in his pocket and started to walk away. "Why do you seer types have to be so bloody cryptic?" he grumbled.

"How long has it been?" she asked. His stopped and his head turned.

"Since…"

"You know" her smile grew wider. "Since your choice" He looked at her with slowly dawning horror.

"You do remember…don't you?" she asked, her voice still high and sweet.

* * *

Los Angeles 2004

It was raining. Well at least the weather matched the mood. Spike stood in the protective shadows of the Hyperion, waiting for Angel to arrive. He'd beaten the ponce…funny. It didn't seem quite so important now.Angel turned the corner into the alley, slowing to a stop. He looked around trying to see if any more of his team had beaten him there. Spike stepped forward form the shadows.

"Boo"

Did he jump?

The night's battle had taken its toll on Angel. His face sported many gashes and cuts, yet Spike could see his body was thrumming with a hidden energy. Whatever he was on, Spike wanted some.

"Anyone else" Angel muttered, accepting Spike's presence with a nod.

"Not so far" Spike shook his head. He didn't need to tell Angel what that could mean. He inclined his head at Angel. "You feel the heat?"

Angel nodded. He turned to face the opening mouth of the alley. They could both hear the screams and shouts of approaching demons. A lot of approaching demons. The Senior Partners were pulling out all the stops. Guess we must have succeeded, Spike thought. The partners had finally noticed them. Go team.

"Its coming" Angel continued. Spike didn't have to ask what he meant.

"Finally going to get our decent brawl." Spike cracked his knuckles. If he was going down he'd go down fighting. And more importantly, after Angel.

"Damn! How did I know the fang boys would pull through?" a familiar voice shouted. Both vampires turned in the direction of the voice to see Gunn, running towards them, stumbling as he went. "You're lucky we're on the same side dogs" he continued "'cause I was on fire tonight." As he reached them, he fell to the floor. Both Angel and Spike darted forward to grab him before he hit the ground. They pulled him to his feet helping him to a nearby dumpster where he could sit. "My game was tight" he finished weakly. Spike looked down and noticed a sticky redness on Gunn's shirt, near his stomach. Oh God."You're supposed to wear the red stuff on the inside, Charlie boy" Spike's voice remained light but the look he and Angel shared confirmed what they both knew. Gunn didn't have long left. Just one look into Gunn's eyes showed them both that Gunn knew it too. He was still going to fight.

"Any word on Wes?" he asked, his voice firm and steady. As if in answer, Illryia fell from the top of the building with a thud. She looked around, nodding to each of them in turn.

"Wesley's dead" she said bluntly. The men looked at each other, sadness in their eyes. Sad fact is, Spike thought, Wesley was only the first. They were all going to go down. Dimly, he could see the demons in the distance. Almost time.

"I am feeling grief for him" the old one continued. "I can't seem to control it. I wish to do more violence." "Well wishes just happen to be horses today" Spike remarked, gesturing towards the oncoming army.

"Among other things" Angel gestured to the air.

Holy mother of crap, they have a dragon.

"Okay" Gunn said, his voice a harsh whisper "You take the thirty thousand on the left…" his face contorted into a painful wince.

"You're fading" Illryia remarked, a surprising amount of concern in her voice. "You'll last ten minutes at best." Course, we're gonna do so much better, Spike felt thought. Gunn struggled to his feet, something giving him visible pain.

"Then let's make them count" he said, his voice strong and steady. Good man Charlie, Spike thought proudly. Good man.

"In terms of a plan?" Spike asked, directing his question at Angel.

"We fight."

"Bit more specific?"

"Well personally, I kind of want to slay the dragon."

Well we'll see about that Spike thought a small smile forming on his lips. Angel had already started to advance towards the army, ready to fight.

"Let's get to work." Angel leapt into the crowd of demons, vanishing from view. The others shared one last look, before running towards the horde. Spike grinned. He was going to die but he was gonna go down fighting. He was going to go down with friends. Worse ways to go.

With one last defiant shout, he dove into the demons.

* * *

Cleveland 2009…

Spike knelt on the floor of the alley, his hands pressed against his eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING" he yelled at the girl, his voice beginning to rise in hysteria.

"I'm making you see. I'm opening your eyes. You have to remember what you are"

"Don't make me remember!" he shouted at the little girl. "Don't let me see it!"

"You have to. You have to understand it was not your fault. Once you know that you can accept your destiny."

"My DESTINY?" he yelled. "I DON'T SODDING CARE ABOUT MY DESTINY!" He leapt at the little girl, hands outstretched, only to meet with empty air.

"Spike" her voice whispered in his head "You have a destiny. You will be a hero. You will become the greatest of them all."

"No…" he whimpered, his eyes full of tears. "I can never be a hero…I stole it from him you know? It wasn't mine, I had no right to it."

"He forfeited that right with the choices he took. It was yours and yours alone."

"I deserved nothing! I was just as bad as him!"

She stared at him impassively.

"You have to see. See what's to come and what has gone before, so you can fight it. Prevent it. Avenge it."

"What the hell…?"

"I give you the sight" With that she held out her hand, palm outstretched. A startling white glow began to emanate from it, illuminating the dark, rain swept alley. Spike's eyes blanched with terror, as he tried in vain to scramble to his feet. The white glow burst forth and enveloped Spike. He had time to scream just as-

_There was a dark man, he was laughing and holding a flame. No a girl, a girl with red hair. Willow? Someone-it's me-is sneaking up behind them something held in his/my hand. I'm bringing it down on the dark man._

Flash

_The dark man is back. I feel something cold in my stomach. I fall._

Flash

_I'm at a grave, I'm crying, held by someone._

Flash

_I'm fighting a man, darkness coming out of his body, forming shapes. _

Flash

_I'm on a train I taste blood in my mouth. I'm screaming something, GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT_

Flash

_They city is in flames_

Flash

_I'm looking out on a crowd, I'm shouting, defiant, commanding. I'm going to battle. To war_

Flash

_I'm kissing a girl, small blonde hair. Slayer. Buffy?_

-images bombarded his head, making him fall to the ground. He cradled his head in his hands as the images faded. His head felt heavy.

Spike stood up shakily, looking around for the little girl, desperation in his eyes. She was nowhere to be found. He looked up at the sky, eye filled with fear at what he'd just seen.

"Just…just stay away!"

He ran out from the alley, onto the dark Cleveland streets. As his hurried footfalls faded, the little girl materialised out of the shadows, a sad expression on her normally cheerful face.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, before once again melting into the shadows.

* * *

Spike ran for miles, as if trying to outrun the images. What had the bitch done to him? He kept replaying it over his mind, but one image stood out in his mind. He was kissing her. Buffy. They were together. Who else could it be?

This was exactly why he had come here.

The street where she lived.

He'd been here before of course, several times. His mind wandered back to earlier, when he had looked at her picture. It was recent…he'd had to be very stealthy to get that one. But it was worth it.

His conscience troubled him when he did this, it always did. He'd changed over the years, especially upon receipt of his soul. Yet he was doing things, stalking her, watching her through windows, things he had only done when he was a soulless, amoral creature. So what did that make him now?

Yet for all his pangs of conscience he always ended up doing it regardless. He'd beat himself up later. Of course this time was different.

He'd seen the future.

Hadn't he?

What was it the girl had shown him?

It could have been the future…but could it be something else? The Powers weren't above bribery to get what they want…was that what it was?

Of course not. He really didn't want to see the city burning…most of the time.

He wasn't kidding himself. He knew that there was no way in hell that he'd be walking through the front door. He looked down at himself. Not while looking like something that had just crawled out of hell. He smiled at the irony.

He still had to see her. That went without saying.

He thrust his hands into his pocket and slowly began to walk down the street. He walked around the pools of light projected by the street lamps, trying not to draw attention to himself. As he got closer to his destination he began to look from left to right, on the lookout for any familiar face. Then he was there. Casa de Summers. Or to be more accurate, the Summer's compound.

He'd heard through the grape vine that when the Scoobie's had relocated to Cleveland, the utmost priority had been for Buffy to be protected. Along with Faith, she was the longest surviving slayer. Out of the two of them she had the most experience and had no standing murder charges. She had to serve as an example to follow.

She was a legend. No other slayer in the history of the line had lived for as long as she had, so she must have been doing something right. In the past every girl that was told she had been chosen, had been given a death sentence. A whole line of girls, killed before their time. Buffy however had survived. She'd died but she came back. Buffy was proof that a Slayer could live, could defy what had gone before. This made her the Holy Grail to the underworld. If any demon or vampire could kill the Prime Slayer they would be legendary.

If she was killed, it would tell all the girls in the world, now holding the power of the Slayer, that even the best of them could fall. The death of Buffy would crush the morale of the existing Slayers and also effectively go back to the old days. The old days when being the Slayer, meant that you were going to die, no matter what.

Which was why it was incredibly hard to even get into the Summer's compound. The security was state of the art. Spike had a feeling that Rupert Giles had more than a little to do with this. The watcher was now heading up the Watchers council- any one with their ear to the ground new that – so he was able to appropriate the funds at his discretion. Of course, he'd have found the money no matter what. Giles was like that.

The defences consisted of a wall a good few metres high. It was easily mounted but it didn't stop there. The compound had a variety of mystical and technological defences designed to keep anyone out. They all however left signs if you knew where to look. And if you knew how the Scoobie's thought.

Although he wouldn't admit it in public, the first time Spike had (drunkenly) tried to get in, he had nearly blundered into the defences. It was only through dumb luck that a couple of vampires had decided to try and have a go at the same night.

He'd spotted them at a distance and had a stake prepared and ready. He was ready to dive in and dust them, when they tripped one of the defences and got sucked into some godforsaken hell dimension. It paid to be careful.

He took a deep breath before beginning to run at the wall. As he neared it he leapt into the air, grabbing onto the ledge. He pulled himself up and let himself fall to the ground, landing in a crouched position.

He slowly moved his eyes across the area. His view was mostly obscured by trees but in the distance he could make out her house. Satisfied that no one was in sight, he slowly began to make his way through the trees doing his best to keep in shadow. It wasn't long until he came to the first pitfall.

There was a faint smell of ozone in the air, faint but noticeable. If he hadn't been watching out for it, chances are he would have missed it. He looked to the floor and his suspicions were confirmed. The tell-tale signs of a fire hex were evident on the ground. Carefully he sidled his way around it.

As he avoided that, Spike noticed the moonlight reflecting off something. He squinted his eyes to find that there was a trip wire about 5 inches away from his feet. He carefully stepped over it. As he crossed the wire he looked up to see a net, ready to drop if the wire had been tripped.

He continued in this way until he had passed the trees. Now he could clearly see her home. It was a much more modern dwelling than he was used to, hell than she had been used to.

The house was a modern, single storey building. The roof sloped down and Spike could see a skylight on the east side. Large windows adorned the walls, affording the inhabitants a good view of the grounds. Probably so they could receive forewarning of any sudden attacks. Spike could just about make out a familiar figure in the front room. There she was.

He heard the silent whir of video camera, moving across the open expanse of grass between him and his target. He craned his head trying to find it. After several minutes of searching he found one nested in the trees. He watched it intently for several minutes timing how long it took to complete its arc.

After watching for several arcs he took a deep breath and darted across the open expanse of grass, keeping low to the ground. He reached the wall and pressed himself flat against it. He looked from left to right making sure the cost was clear.

He sidled alongside the wall until he reached the nearest window. He carefully inched his head forward and looked inside. He was greeted with a view of the Slayer's lounge. Like the rest of the house it seemed very modern, full of plush, stylish seating. A glass coffee table was in the centre of the room. Various masks and weapons adorned the walls. It was the house of a slayer all right. Yet his eyes focused not on the room's furnishings but its occupants.

He saw her. He saw all of them

The Scooby Gang. Older…probably wiser. But still together.

It had been years since he'd seen them all together and he was surprised to find himself feeling nostalgic for his years in Sunnydale. He almost laughed at the thought. He'd always maintained that Sunnydale was a place that had brought him a lot of bad luck. But it was his home, more of a home than Los Angeles was anyway. Although he was an outsider, eventually he'd like to have thought that he'd been accepted by the Scoobies. That hadn't been the case in L.A; he'd always remained on the outskirts. Admit it, he told himself, you only went there when you realised there was nowhere else to go. A dark feeling started brewing in his stomach. After the way things had turned out in L.A, in the final analysis he would have been better off as a pile of ash.

He shook his head trying to clear himself of his thoughts and to draw his attention back to the room's occupants.

Xander sat on the couch, his legs propped up onto a coffee table, his arms stretched along the back. His hair was still the unruly mess he had back in Sunnydale and he wore a goofy smile, a smile that indicated his innate good nature. He wore an eye patch across his left eye, a harsh reminder of the last battle in Sunnydale.

He had a red-haired girl the circle of his arm. Willow. She wore a radiant smile, enthusing the room with warmth as she laughed at one of Xander's jokes. It was hard to believe that this cheerful girl was actually one of the most powerful Wicca's that the world had ever seen. She had even come close to destroying the world on one occasion. Spike could think of no one in the world that he was scared to piss off apart from Willow. But he knew that he would also rather have no other Wicca at his back. He raised his eyebrows in surprise as she looked up and planted a kiss on Xander's lips. Well that was new.

Rupert Giles sat on an armchair to the side of the sofa that the two lovers sat upon. He had a few more grey hairs than Spike remembered- the years had obviously taken their toll on him. He wore a faintly bemused expression on his face, something Spike recognised from his Sunnydale days. Spike also noticed an ornate walking stick resting against the armchair. The years had taken their toll indeed.

Sat on the floor to the side of the armchair was Dawn. She had grown in the past few years…grown a hell of a lot. She was a woman now, not the young, insecure teenager she had been in Sunnydale. She was no longer his Nibblet and that thought pained him more than he would ever say. But the person he saw next ripped him apart.

She was beautiful even after all these years. Age had only accentuated her beauty. She wore the most stunning smile he had ever seen, a smile that always made her look more innocent, more naïve despite all that she had seen and done. It was a smile that he loved to see and would kill without pause to protect. She had let her hair grow longer, down to her shoulders. She held herself with a quiet confidence, satisfaction that he could never remember seeing in Sunnydale. Retirement seemed to be working for her. The smile soon erupted into a joyous laugh that he heard through the window. He gave a sad smile as he realised that she was happy. Happier than he had ever seen her. He looked down sadly.

Why had he come? Why did he keep coming? Stalking her? He was obsessed, so much he had been risking his life and limb to just see her. He had come running based on some image placed in his head by someone he didn't even trust. He needed help. Yet as he ran away from the compound he couldn't shake the sinking feeling that he would be back. Soon.

* * *

Spike sat in his dark apartment, the curtains drawn, blocking out the early morning rays of sun. He sat slumped in an armchair, holding an empty beer bottle in his limp hand. Unconsciously, he let go of the bottle, letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud on the carpet. It landed amongst a crowd of other bottles, scattered around his feet. His face was illuminated by the glow of his television set. The sounds of early morning cartoons were punctuated by his heavy snoring. He was so deep in slumber, that when the sounds of the cartoon changed to the official, dynamic news theme, he barely stirred. A sombre looking reporter appeared on screen. He wore a sharp pin-striped suit and had a look of practiced sympathy on his face. The volume of the set turned up gradually, almost as if the set itself wanted Spike to listen.

"…is in shock today after a horrific murder in the suburbs. Police are baffled as to the identity and motive of the killer. Police Chief James Oldman has released the following statement."

The shot changed to an image of a haggard looking man, wearing a rumpled suit. He was squinting in the glare as flashbulbs erupted around him. He a slim physique and a thick bushy moustache that seemed to indicate a happy, cheerful man. Yet as he spoke his voice seemed tired and shaky.

"Rest assured, we are doing everything in our power to catch the monster who committed this crime, I will not rest until we catch this _beast_. We are currently following up on reports of a man seen leaving the area the night of the crime. We implore everyone and anyone who has seen anything, no matter how small, to come forward. Thank you."

The screen switched back to the news reader, who looked up from the paper in front of him.

"Police have yet to reveal the identity of…" he trailed off and held his hand up to his ear. He nodded as he listened to the voice in his ear. After a moment he looked up. "Breaking news, police have just confirmed the identity of the deceased. Buffy Summers, a survivor of the Sunnydale disaster, has been murdered, in one of the most shocking displays of cruelty Cleveland has ever seen. Her sister Dawn Summers sustained…" he took a breath "…severe injuries and is on the critical list at Cleveland General. We will bring you updates to this as news develops…"

Spike slept on.

* * *

A few hours later his eyes fluttered opened. Immediately he felt something, different…something had changed. He didn't like the feeling. He jolted forward in his seat. As he moved, his head exploded in blinding agony. He cradled it gently in his hands. Obviously moving was going to be a mistake for a while. His stomach gave a rebellious heave, his head felt dizzy. He looked down at the bottles crowding on the floor around his feet. Blimey…how much had he drank?

After a moments rest, he braced both hands on the arms of his chair, and lifted himself out of it, with a heavy groan at the rhythmic thumping in his head. He stumbled over to the light switch and flicked it on. The glare of the lights sent daggers into his brain and with a yell he flicked the switch back, bathing the room in darkness.

He staggered into the kitchen area, using the wall as support. He fell to his knees on the hard wooden floor and opened up a cupboard. After a moment's investigation, he began throwing things onto the floor, looking in vain for something to relieve his agony. After continuing in this way through several cupboards, Spike finally found the object of his search: a packet of extra strength aspirin. He perforated the sheets of tablets and shook two out. He put them both in his mouth and dry swallowed them. Now satisfied that the pain would be relieved, he forced himself to his feet. He began to make his way towards the bathroom, only to be interrupted half way there by an insistent knocking on the door. With a sigh he made his way towards it.

"Alright I'm coming!" he yelled "Don't get your bloody knickers in a twist." He unlatched the door and turned the knob to pen it. As the door opened several thoughts occurred to Spike at once. He should have checked the peep hole, he should have pretended he wasn't there and most of all: was his cover blown? As the door completed its arc, his stomach sank.

The door had revealed a man of about six foot. He was dressed in standard black ops gear; an all black jump suit, his features obscured by a mask. He wore a pair of goggles over his eyes which hummed in the hallway. He had an assortment of nasty looking weapons adorning his body.

"Oh balls--"

Spikes words were cut short as the man hit him squarely across the jaw, sending him careening across the apartment. He landed with a bang onto the coffee table, his features in a pained grimace.

"Oh _arse_" he muttered. He forced his head up, ignoring its protests, to find that the man was walking towards him, speaking into a communications device at his wrist.

"Target has been identified, I repeat target has been identified, all teams converge on my position, shoot to—ARGH" As the man got closer Spike whipped his feet across the floor, taking the man's feet from under him. The man hit the floor with a heavy thud. Not wasting the opportunity Spike forced himself to his feet, ignoring the protests of his hung over head. He leapt across to the man and pulled him up to his face.

"Who sent you?" he growled. The man gave no answer. "WHO SENT YOU?" Spike yelled, spraying spittle into the mans face. He pulled back his fist and was ready to beat the man into telling him the information he needed when his attention was diverted by the sound of breaking glass.

Two more men swung in through the window, levelling weapons at Spike. He recognised them immediately. Initiative blasters. Damn.

"Put him down!" one of them ordered. Simultaneously both flicked a switch on their rifle. The rifles emitted a steady hum.

"Put him down and hands in the air NOW!" the other shouted. Spike considered the situation for a second. With a sly smile, he flipped his middle finger up at the men. With inhuman grace he twirled the man in his grip around, just as the two men fired. The electric bolts hit Spike's human shield, making him scream and jerk in agony.

"GODDAMN!" one of the men shouted. Not even pausing to celebrate his victory, Spike dove towards the open door. As he flew through the air, another commando stood in the door way, his blaster raised at Spike. With a vague hint of a chuckle, the commando blasted at Spike.

Oh Bollocks.

The blast hit Spike mid-air, sending him to the ground with a heavy thud. He writhed on the floor, electric shocks sending spasms through him. Two more bolts thundered into him, making him yell. He felt bile rise up in his throat. He struggled to keep it down.

"Get him up" the commando at the door ordered. His voice dimly tugged at the edges of Spike's memory.

"Yes sir!" the two others responded in unison. They stepped over their fallen comrade and dragged Spike to his feet. The commando (obviously their commander) strode over to Spike. Spike could feel the venom in the man's glare, even from beneath the mask.

"Scum" the man said quietly. He thrust the butt of his weapon into Spike's face. "Piece. Of. Mother. Loving. Trash" Each word was punctuated by a strike from the weapon butt. Spike sagged in the arms of the commandos. He tasted the coppery tang of blood in his mouth.

"Screw…you…" he told him defiantly. The commando started ramming the rifle into Spikes face in angry, rapid motions.

"YOU BASTARD! YOU STOLE HER FROM ME! YOU TOOK HER! YOU KILLED HER YOU MURDERING FILTH!" he screamed. Spike fell to the floor from the force of his blows, his face a bloody mess.

He had no idea what he meant…but he'd finally recognised the voice. He gave a bloody grin.

"Finn…long time…" his words were cut short by a firm kick to the stomach. He let out his breath in a painful gasp. The commando took off his mask in an angry, sudden movement revealing the face of Riley Finn. He hadn't changed much since Spike had last seen him, except for a long scar running down the right side of his face. He hoped it had hurt like hell. Riley knelt down beside Spike.

"I'm gonna kill you for what you did. You bastard. But I promised the others I'd bring you in alive" He leant in and whispered quietly to Spike. "Make no mistake, I'll kill you and make it slow. You killed the first woman I've ever truly loved. You killed Buffy."

Spikes eyes widened in shock. Something cold grasped his heart, something cold and icy. It squeezed and squeezed until he was sure that it would crush it. She couldn't be gone, she was meant to last. To outlive him. To be happy. She was gone. Gone.

He became dimly aware of other men entering the room and of being dragged to his feet. How did it happen? When did it happen? A thousand unanswered questions raced through his brain. One kept coming to the forefront of his mind, burning an imprint on his brain. Who did it?

The icy thing holding his heart gave way to the white hot fire of revenge. He felt his muscles tense in anger. It was so unfair. By rights they'd be together. By rights she would still be alive. By rights…he wouldn't let himself be blamed for it. All traces of his hangover gone, he knew with a dark certainty that he would kill whoever did this. He had to get out.

Not even aware of what he was doing, he lashed his foot out hitting Riley square in the crotch. The soldier fell to the ground wincing at the sudden sharp pain. The other commandos looked on, their body language registering shock.

Not wasting an opportunity, Spike grabbed two of them by the head and slammed them together, knocking them into unconsciousness immediately. As the slumped to the floor, he leapt into the air with a roar, colliding into another commando.

Blasters sounded, sending bolts of electricity onto the floor surrounding Spike. He dived behind the kitchen counter using it as cover. He calmly and coolly assessed his options. He could try for the door but there was a very real chance that more reinforcements were coming up the stairs. The hall didn't give him much room for manoeuvre. He looked towards the window. The only way out. Bollocks this could hurt.

Without giving it time for thought he darted out from his cover, keeping his body low. He heard Finn shouting incoherent orders as he flung himself out of the window.

The cold Cleveland air cut through him like a knife as he fell through the air. He only had once chance; he had to hope he had enough momentum to carry himself to the adjacent rooftop. He streamlined his body and held his arms forward, hands outstretched. His heart sank as he realised he wouldn't hit the rooftop. He stretched has arms out as far as he could. His hands grabbed the ledge and he slammed into the side of the building hard.

He uttered a guttural scream as fire spread throughout his body. His arm felt as if it was going to be wrenched out of his socket. Had to keep moving. With a grimace he pulled himself up onto the rooftop. He fell to the floor panting.

After a moment he pushed himself up wincing in effort. He stumbled across the roof towards the fire escape, holding his side. The cold Cleveland air bit into him…he cursed that he'd left his duster behind.

"Hold it right there!" a voice shouted.

His head whipped around at the sound of the voice. He wasn't surprised to find one of the commandos levelling a mean looking assault rifle at his body.

_Oh bollocks._ He should have realised they'd have the rooftops staked out. Ignoring the command, Spike broke into a run towards the fire escape. Bullets bounced off the corrugated metal around him as he leapt down the stairs. Looks like they'd brought out the licence to kill. He looked down, seeing troops coming up the steps below.

"Bollocks!" He looked across the street. He saw two men run onto the adjacent rooftop, levelling their weapons at the fire escape. He leapt off the fire escape, praying that he'd judged it right.

He felt bullets whiz past him as he sailed through the air. The two commandos were firing wildly, not quite believing that he'd been crazy enough to do this. He had time to smile, as his body collided with the one of the commandos. The man fell unconscious as soon as he hit the floor. Not wasting anytime, Spike whipped his fist round into the second man's jaw.

The blow spent the man careening through the air. He tried to steady himself his arms waving wildly. He lost the battle and started to pitch backwards, falling over the roof ledge.

Time slowed to a crawl as Spike watched the man fall. He realised that saving the man would mean that he'd lose any advantage he'd gained with the stunt he just pulled. Chances are the man would pull Spike down with him. There was also a chance that the man would turn on him as soon as he was safe.

As he sprung forward, Spike found the choice was an easy one to make. He had to prove his innocence. Killing an innocent man probably wouldn't help in that respect. In his heart he also knew it was the right thing to do. But most of all it was because it's what Buffy would have wanted him to do.

_I love you Buffy._

He pitched forward over the rooftop trying to grasp the mans flailing hands. He grabbed the ledge with his left hand, grabbing the mans arm with his right. He yelled in pain, at the strain his body was under. His face a mask of intense concentration, he held on tight. The man was screaming in terror.

"Would you bloody shut up or I'm dropping you now!" he shouted. The man continued whimpering. "I bloody mean it!" The look in Spike's eyes convinced the soldier.

Spike assessed his options. He could try and hoist them both back on the roof but he couldn't find the leverage. He looked down. There was a hell of a lot of empty air between them and the street. Not really an option. His eyes wandered across to the next rooftop. A skylight dominated most of it…he only hoped that he wouldn't have fair to travel when he hit it. He judged the distance. Should be just about manageable. He hoped.

He braced his legs against the wall and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and launched himself off the side of the building, dragging the screaming soldier with him. They sailed through the air seemingly in slow motion. It seemed like years before Spike felt shards of glass explode around him. He landed on a hard wooden floor, a shower of glass falling around him. The solider landed beside him.

"That went well…" Spike muttered weakly. He pushed himself to his feet. The solider began to rise as well.

"God thank you I don't know how I can repay you!" he whimpered.

"Fall unconscious" Spike drop kicked the solider, sending him spiralling to the floor.

"Excuse me?"

Spike turned around at the sound of the voice, noticing the room's two occupants, a man and a woman, lying on the bed, clearly naked underneath the bed covers.

"Would you mind…leaving our apartment?" the man asked nervously. Spike looked at them both, eyes wide. He bowed his head, feeling his cheeks turn red with embarrassment.

"I'll…uh…" he stammered "Be…on…my…way" he made his way to the door "Enjoy your evening." He opened the door and stepped into the hallway. A second later he poked his head back through the door. "Uh…this bloke's mates will be round to pick him up soon. Might wanna get dressed." He left through the door again, only to reappear again a second later. "You wouldn't have some wheels I could borrow by any chance?"

The man nodded at the dressing table. Spike nodded and picked up the keys there.

"Cheers"

* * *

"What's the situation lieutenant?" Riley asked, as he burst onto the street.

"We have the building secure" he replied, gesturing to the scene in front of him. The doors to the lobby of the building Spike had jumped to were surrounded by several heavily armed soldiers, all levelling their weapons towards it.

"We have all exits covered, both at rooftop and ground level" the lieutenant continued 'Hostile 17 won't be getting away too easily."

Riley considered this for a minute.

"Can I see the building schematics?" he asked. The lieutenant handed them to him quickly. Riley scanned them quickly. He pointed to an area on the schematics. "What area's this?"

"A garage sir. We have two men covering the elevator down." Riley looked up from the schematics quickly anger blazing in his eyes.

"Solider that wont be enough!" he yelled "All available men, follow me!" He cocked his rifle and began to run towards the garage entrance.

* * *

The elevator hit the garage level, alerting the two soldiers. They slowly wandered towards the opening doors, rifles held up in front of them. The doors fully opened, revealing nothing there. They run to the elevator, only to meet Spikes feet as he swung down from its roof, knocking them both unconscious. As soon as he landed he ran thru the garage, looking left and right.

"Nice to see tax dollars well spent" he muttered "Tossers. Now where is it…?" He gave a wry smile as he spotted the vehicle he was looking for.

"Oh yes"

* * *

Riley reached the entrance of the underground garage.

"What's that sound?" he asked himself. He let out a yell of surprise as Spike come roaring out of the darkness, bent low over an expensive motorbike. The high pitched screams of the engine as it raced through the street, barely masked Spikes shouted farewell.

"UP YOURS BASTARD!" he yelled.

"After him!" Riley ordered "GET THE HELL AFTER HIM!" The soldiers around him rushed to comply with his orders.

"Damn him"

* * *

Spike felt the wind sting his face as he roared through the city streets. Behind him he could hear the sounds of sirens as Finn's troops raced after him. He was going to have to be a tricky git to get out of this one. He turned sharply to the left, causing the pursuing jeeps to skid across the street as they raced to follow him.

He pushed down on the throttle, desperately trying to put some distance between him and his pursuers. He felt bullets and stunner bolts whiz past him. They were starting to mean business. He had to even the odds. Somehow.

His distracted mind barely registered the jeeps pull out in front of him blocking the street at the end.

"Damn…" he muttered. He looked left to right desperately seeking a way out. His eyes spotted an alleyway to his right; he turned sharply and burst through its opening.

The sound of the bike was amplified in the narrow confines of the alleyway, deafening Spike to anything else. He could see the open alley mouth up ahead signalling his freedom. He was so focused he barely noticed as a bullet hit the back wheel of the bike. He barely registered the bike tipping forward, hitting him hard onto the floor of the alley.

He pushed himself up weakly, his body visibly shaking from the effort. He coughed, sending bloody spraying onto the pavement. Dimly, he heard footfalls coming towards him in the alley, the sounds of weapons being cocked. He was pulled up sharply and brought face to face with Riley.

"I…didn't kill…her…Finn" Spike murmured weakly.

"Shut up filth" he spat, kicking Spike in the stomach. "You'll burn for this. I'll see to it." He leaned in closer whispering in Spike's ear. "You're an animal that needs to be put down. She never loved you. She took pity on you." He leant in closer "Mummy's boy." He gave a vindictive smile. "Motherfu-"

Spike's fist connected with Riley's jaw, sending the soldier flying through the air. He collided with several of his troops, sending them sprawling to the floor. Spike rose to the floor in a blur, diving into the air. Riley began to stand, only to be tackled to the floor by Spike.

Spike began to punch Riley ferociously, his teeth bared in a snarl. A little voice was telling him to stop. He ignored it. Questions ran through his mind, a mile a minute.

_How did they find me?_

_Who killed her?_

_Why frame me?_

_Why am I always fighting for my life in bloody alleys?_

_…What the hell am I doing?_

Spike stopped punching Riley, his fist hovering uselessly in the air. He looked down at the man's face bruised and bleeding. Groggily Riley gave a bloodstained smirk.

"Proved…my…point…" He struggled to form the words. Spike heard the shouts of Riley's troops as they ran towards the two men. Emotionlessly Spike reached to Riley's belt and broke off a smoke grenade. As he held out the grenade towards the crowd of approaching troops, he realised that this would usually be the time that he would make a smart arsed comment. As he removed the pin and dropped the grenade, smoke billowing into the alley, he realised that he couldn't think of one.

When the smoke cleared, leaving several dazed and confused troops, Spike had vanished.

* * *

Days went by. Spike kept below ground in the sewers, in the dark places. He liked the dark there; it gave him sorely needed comfort. As expected, Riley had sent troops into the sewer but these had proven no challenge for Spike to avoid. He'd spent most of the past two hundred years in places like this. He knew how to hide.

He eventually surfaced once he was certain the heat from the patrols had died down. He needed to clear his name and find whoever it was that had killed Buffy, his Slayer. To make sure that they died screaming.

But first he had to say goodbye.

He entered the gates of the cemetery at midnight, walking slowly through the forest of gravestones. He'd read in a paper he'd found that her funeral had taken place the day after Riley had ambushed him in his apartment. The report stated that Giles had paid for, out of his own pocket, a monument in her memory to be placed in the cemetery. It was there that Spike now headed.

As he walked towards it, his thoughts unavoidably turned towards the times he and Buffy had spent in places just like this back in Sunnydale. Kicking ass, taking names and slaying vamps. The good old days…for the most part.

The monument was on the top of a small hill, which Spike had to climb to reach it. The monument itself was a thing of beauty. Made out of alabaster marble, it overlooked the entire cemetery. It consisted of an ornate crucifix, standing eight feet tall, on a pedestal. As he got closer he noticed that there was an inscription at the base of the monument. He knelt down and read it. As he read it, his eyes glistened with tears.

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2009

DEVOTED SISTER, BELOVED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD A LOT MORE

NOW SHES GONE

SHE MEANS IT THIS TIME

With a melancholy smile Spike rose to his feet, dusting himself down.

"I'll find who did this Buffy" he whispered into the dark night air. "I promise you that. I'll always love you. Always."

"Empty words Spike."

He whipped round at the sound of the voice.

"Harris…" he said in quiet disbelief "…Xander"

"If you loved her you wouldn't have done what you did" Xander said his voice strong but tinged with sadness. It had none of the venom Riley's had held. It simply was tired. He simply stood there, dressed in a black sweater and jeans.

"Xander…it wasn't me"

"Drop it Spike!" Xander's voice grew louder. He drew a crossbow and aimed it directly at Spikes heart. "Drop it." He repeated quieter.

"Harris…you know that that bolt wont hit me." Spike's voice carried a threatening undertone.

"I'm a lot more skilled now Spike" he raised the crossbow. "It'll get you. You're coming in with me" He said confidently.

"Why not kill me? Like Corporal Clean told me to do?" Spike asked raising his hands.

"Because…" Xander began hesitantly. "Because I used to think you were a good guy." Spike looked surprised. "I never liked you; I thought you were scum. But that last year we _all _saw the good you can do. So if there's even the slightest of chances that you didn't do this, I don't wanna be the guy making the mistake."

"What makes you think I did it?" Spike asked quietly.

"How could it not be? We know you've been watching us Spike." Spike stepped back surprised. "It's only 'cause Buffy thought that you'd come back that we haven't come down on you before. And the attack…" his voice became strained with emotion "…it was so savage…she'd been ripped apart…" he was crying now. "The lack of blood…the bite marks…only a vampire could have done it. And only people we trust can get through the defences. She trusted you Spike."

He stopped noticing Spike's expression.

"…What did I say?"

"Xander!" Spike said excitedly "It couldn't have been me! I'm not-"

"Well, well" said a third voice. "What do we have here?" Both Xander and Spike turned to find a crowd of three vampires, all in game face, standing arrogantly in the dark. "We come along, hoping to do some desecrating. Didn't think we'd get a free meal in it did we boys?" His fellow vampires giggled.

"Harris" Spike whispered "I need a stake"

"What makes you so sure I have one?"

"What kind of idiot comes to face a vampire without a stake?"

"…The kind who already has a crossbow?" Xander replied weakly.

"Oh for the love of God" Spike raised his eyes to the heavens. "I'd forgotten how much of an idiot you were!"

"What?" Xander argued "I'm good with the crossbow!"

"Every idiot knows that you should have a backup!"

"Not this idiot!…Shut up Spike!"

"Your seriously telling me you were gonna try taking me in with just a crossbow!"

"In my defence you look a mess. What's with the beard?"

"Don't I look rugged?"

"You look like a tramp."

"Hey guys?" the vampire interrupted. He gestured to his companions "We're kinda on a clock here…so if you could stop the arguing and let us eat you, we'll be on our way."

Spike and Xander looked at each other.

"Follow my lead" Spike ordered.

He rushed the head vampire and with a swift uppercut to the jaw sent him flying down the hill. He kicked the second vampire in the stomach winding him and sending him to the floor. Before the third could mount an attack Spike was behind him. Within a second Spikes arm was around his neck.

"Now Xander!" he shouted, grappling with the struggling vampire.

"What?" Xander yelled back.

"The crossbow you gormless tit!"

"Oh" Xander realised. "Got ya." He fired the bolt straight at the vampire's heart, dusting him instantly. As the second vampire rose, Spike tackled him to the floor. He was thrown off by the vampire. They both got up and circled each other fists raised. Spike dashed forward, aiming a punch at the vampire's head. The vampire ducked but Spike managed to counter by bringing his knee up into the vampires face. While the vampire howled in pain, Xander dusted him.

The third vampire had recovered and was making his way up the hill. As he rose to the crest, he failed to find his companions. He saw only Spike and Xander, aiming a crossbow at his heart.

"Night" Xander quipped. Dust.

"Well" Spike muttered, rubbing his hands together "That was a piss and a doddle."

"So" Xander regained his confidence and aimed the crossbow back at Spike "Where were we?"

"I was proving my innocence" Spike replied smugly.

"Its gonna have to be good."

"Oh it is." Spike began to reach into his pockets

"Hey hey hey!" Xander protested "Keep those where I can see them!"

"Do…you listen to yourself?" Spike asked "Has someone been watching too much _Law and Order?_"

"Just do it…slowly" Xander relented.

Spike nodded and slowly put his hands into his pocket. He pulled an object out of it and held it so Xander could see.

Spike held a cross. Xander's jaw dropped.

"Now…hold…you…can't…huh?" He withdrew his own cross and held it at Spike. Spike didn't recoil. Xander frowned and shook his cross.

"Why…why aren't you burning?" he asked.

Spike said simply:

"I'm human."

* * *

They walked through the cemetery. It had taken a while for Xander to digest the revelation and after many attempts with the cross, he had finally accepted.

"How long has it been?"

"Since L.A"

"How the hell were you strong enough to send that vampire flying?"

"Still trying to work that one out."

"How did it happen?"

Spike went quiet a distant look in his eyes. He remembered how it had happened. All too well.

"I…can't say."

The look in his eyes silenced any further questions Xander might have had. They walked in silence.

"So…what now?" he asked quietly

"I find who killed her" Spike replied simply.

"Spike…you can't do this alone."

"Watch me"

"Spike…much as I'm loathe to admit it…we need you. She wanted you" Xander admitted.

"What?" Spike said surprised.

"Buffy…there was no one strong enough to save her" Tears were streaming down from his one good eye. "If you were around…you could have made more of a difference than we had. You would have been there to save her." His voice was becoming strained with pure emotion. "She…left some of her wishes behind. One of them were for us to find you."

Spike looked thoughtful as he considered his words.

"I…cant come back Xander. Look at me. I'm not the man she loved anymore. I owe it to her to find her killer and put it down. Nothing more."

"What about Dawn?"

"God…Dawn…how's she taking it?"

Xander looked at him.

"Jesus…you don't know do you?"

"What?"

"Dawn…she was there…she was attacked too"

* * *

When he saw Dawn it was all he could do not to break down in tears. She looked so frail…doll like. IV tubes were linked up to her and heart monitors beeped, filling the silence of the room. Her face was bruised. Bandages covered her entire body. The sight broke Spike's heart.

"The Doctor said that she's in a coma." Xander told him. "They don't know if she'll wake up."

"How…" Spike choked out his words. "What…did it do to her?"

"It beat her near to death" Xander said quietly. "The Doctors think that while she was unconscious that he may have…" Xander began to sob. "That…God…"

Spike looked at him his eyes wide.

"No…" Not Dawn. She was so innocent…some monster had taken that. He fell to the floor grasping his head in his hands. "No No NO!"

"I cant do this I cant take it" he muttered rising to his feet. He began to leave.

"Spike no! Wait." Xander reached into his pocket and drew out a letter. "Buffy wanted you to have this. We all got one. Just…we all want to get this guy Spike. We could use your help."

Spike took the letter and ran out of the room.

* * *

_My Dearest Spike,_

_If you're reading this it would mean that I'm gone. Maybe one of the nasties got me. Maybe some Big Bad got me. Or maybe I survived it all and old age got me. Whatever, I'm gone._

_That's why I'm writing you this. You of all people know that I'm real bad when it comes to the big relationship talks. Isolationist Slayer crap you called it. And its true._

_See I know you survived Sunnydale. Let's just say Andrew's terrible at keeping a secret and he folds like a cheap deck of cards._

_I made a lot of stupid decisions that year. The Immortal was one of them. Well I don't need to tell you. You know what a jerk he is. I guess I was angry that you never told me that you were alive. That you never found me. But the more I thought about it the more I realised that you had your reasons._

_After the big battle in L.A (the Watchers Council was already to come in all guns blazing but then all the activity stopped. What went down?) I was worried that you may not have made it. _

_Turns out I needn't have worried. I know that you've been watching me these past years. Now in the past I'd have been mad. You'd have had your undead ass kicked. But its been comforting knowing that you're there watching over me. I know you have your reasons for keeping your distance. I only hope that you'll decide to come to me._

_Which brings me to the difficult part._

_Hoo boy._

_Watch over them. For me._

_They'll no doubt search you out once I'm gone. I've written them letters telling them about you and my wishes._

_They'll no doubt be hesitant. I mean things have never been too good between you guys. But I know you'll give your life to protect them. I know no one else who would do that. And that's why I can ask no one else to do this._

_Look after Dawn especially. She's not as tough as she likes to think she is._

_There's so much more I need to say but I can't find the words. So here it goes._

_I love you Spike._

_Not once these past years have I stopped._

_I hope I get to tell you this in person._

_If not…well maybe in the next life?_

_I love you_

_I always will_

_Yours forever_

_Buffy_

* * *

"So it wasn't Spike?" Giles questioned. They were all standing around in the hospital waiting room. The Council had the top three floors especially for their use. That way, fewer questions were asked.

"No" Xander shook his head. He had his arm around Willow, who was resting her head on his shoulder, a sad look on her face. "He's human Giles. I don't know how but he is."

"That's…certainly unexpected" the Watcher replied. He leaned on his cane. He looked older then he had in a long while.

"I don't understand Giles." Willow said quietly. "How could it have happened?"

"There's certainly no precedent that I can recall of anything like this happening before." Giles replied thoughtfully. "I do recall a prophecy, which refers to an ensouled vampire becoming human. I'll have to research."

"What do we do Giles? He was our prime suspect" Xander asked.

"Our first duty is to protect Dawn. That's what she would have wanted. I have teams of the more experienced Slayers combing the streets but not a lot of demons will talk." He answered. "I've contacted Faith and Robin over in England. They're going to contact the Devon coven and get the seers to see what they can do." He took his glasses off and started to clean them. "If anything…Spike's assistance would have been a great help. He knows the underworld like no other. You have no idea where he could be Xander?"

"Nope" he replied "Giles the guy was a mess. He looked ripped. I don't know what he'd do. He won't go back to the apartment after Riley went in there all Punisher"

"I can't believe this has happened" Willow whispered sadly. "I can't believe she's really gone."

"I know Will" Xander kissed the top of her head. "I know."

"We…need to stay strong for Dawn." Giles said quietly.

"Giles I know…but we need to make this guy pay."

"Xander…revenge isn't always the best option."

"He took Buffy, Giles! Buffy! The girl who was like a daughter to you!"

"You don't think I know that!" Giles snapped "I want nothing more than revenge. I want him to die slow. But we don't know what we're up against! Even Willow the most powerful person here has had no luck finding out what did this!"

"Then sounds like you need help." A voice said from the doorway. They turned to find Spike standing in the doorway in his black duster. He'd shaved off his beard. His hair was dyed its normal platinum blond and slicked back. His posture held some of its usual arrogance.

The Big Bad was back.

"Just tell me who to hit. I'm yours."

"Spike…" Willow whispered.

"Hey Red" he said quietly.

Willow got to her feet, unsure of what to do. She stood there nervously, looking at both Xander and Giles, as if looking for guidance. She decided on darting forward, wrapping Spike in a bear hug. Spike looked surprised, his body stiff, his eyes wide.

"Red…I need to breathe" He considered. "Now days at least."

"Oh right" She pulled back, looking embarrassed. He gave her a small smile, letting her know that the welcome was appreciated. He moved further into the room, towards the two men. Xander moved forward, giving a small half smile.

"Spike" he said.

"Xander."

"Thanks, man. Buffy would have appreciated this."

He held out his hand. Spike stared at for a moment before taking it. They shook hands awkwardly. Xander walked over and put his arm around Willows waist. Spike turned to face Giles.

"Rupert" Spike nodded his head.

"Spike"

They both stared at each other in uncomfortable silence. Xander and Willow looked at each nervously. Xander broke the silence.

"Jeez guys get a room."

They both stared at him. Xander looked sheepish.

"Lets get going shall we?"

* * *

Riley slammed his fists into the wooden table, splintering it.

"Giles you _must _be joking."

After Spike's tense reunion with the others, Giles had sent Xander to contact Riley and to tell him to come to the hospital straight away. Within twenty minutes Riley arrived, his face bruised from the beating he had received a few nights before. As soon as he saw Spike, it was all Xander could do to hold the soldier back from attacking Spike right there and then. After several minutes of struggling, Xander managed to calm him enough to at least hear them out. Suffice to say, he wasn't happy at the situation. Now, they all sat around a rectangular table in a meeting room, adjacent to Dawns hospital room. Xander and Willow sat together on one side. Xander had casually laced his hand through Willows. Both were looking unsure whether to weigh in on Gile's side. Spike sat opposite them, his feet up on the table, his arms crossed. As he saw Riley's rage, he held a very self satisfied smirk. Giles and Riley were at opposite ends of the table. Giles sat calmly, Riley however was on his feet.

"Riley, Spike may prove invaluable to helping us find Buffy's murderer." Spikes smirk increased. Hiding it from Giles, Spike stuck two fingers up at Riley.

"I think you're forgetting _Giles_" Riley said, eyeing Spike angrily "who exactly we're dealing with."

"I'm perfectly aware of that Riley."

"Giles I don't think you are. This is _Spike _Giles. You do remember him don't you?"

"Yes Riley I do remember. However in this case, Spike will prove an asset."

"He's already started lying Giles! I can't believe that you of all people believe the bull he's made up about being _human_"

"Sorry big guy" Xander interjected. "He held a cross, no smoking or anything. He's as human as you and me."

"The stuff he did to my troops. His strength! No human could do that!"

"I have my own theories on Spike's abilities Riley. None of which I wish to share at this point." Giles's voice remained quiet.

"He _hospitalised _several of my men Giles." He pointed at his face. "He did this to me."

"All because you went in there against my direct orders." Riley stared to protest "Riley you know as well as I do that you're squad is under Watchers council control for the duration of this situation. As such you are lucky that I haven't removed you from command for that mess you made the other night." Giles said calmly. "Now sit down and shut up."

"Ouch" Spike whispered. "Burned." Riley sat down, his face full of anger. Spike's smirk grew wider.

"Truth of the matter is" Giles continued "We still are no closer to finding out who did this. We have no leads" he sighed.

"For Spikes benefit I'll reiterate what we know. Someone managed to sneak into Buffy's home. This meant that not only did they have to circumvent the mystical and physical defences they would also have to be someone she would have trusted." He turned to Spike "Willow and I came up with a spell that would only let people Buffy trusted into her home which is why you had no trouble getting so close." He fixed Spike with a deadly stare. Obviously he hadn't approved of Spike's protection. "Having ruled you out, we have no idea who it could have been. No one else was seeing exiting the compound that night. No one." He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

"So what do we do now?" Willow asked, her voice quiet.

"Only thing we can do is to try and find some leads. Willow I want you to keep searching the astral plane, see what you can find there." She nodded and gave Giles a small smile. Giles turned to the three men. "I'm best served coordinating the Slayer teams. Hopefully they'll be able to gain some ground. Xander, Riley I need you two to keep in contact with the police, see if they've uncovered new angles. Spike; go to demon bars, haunts, vampire dens anywhere you can think of. See what you can find there."

They all got to their feet, ready to go.

"We'll reconvene back here at daybreak. I'll contact you if there's any change in Dawn's condition."

"Let's get to work"

* * *

Xander, Spike and Riley walked out of the hospital doors briskly. The cold air hit Spike hard and he found himself wrapping his coat tighter around himself, trying to keep warm. Xander swirled around stopping the other two men in their tracks.

"We all know what we're doing?" he asked.

"Yeah mate we do" Spike answered "No need to double check. Not tonight"

"Just making sure."

"Let's get it done." Riley said. "I don't want to spend more time than I need to with this creature" He pointed at Spike.

"Well arseholes to you mate. How's the missus?"

Riley moved his fist raised ready to floor Spike. Xander moved between them hurriedly.

"He-hey! Getting your ass kicked won't help here Riley!"

"Here that G.I Joe? Don't mess with me mate"

"Save it Spike!" Xander shouted, restraining the struggling Riley "This isn't the time! More important things to worry about!"

"Whoa trying to be macho Harris? It doesn't suit you mate I'd quit it!"

Xander ignored Spike as he held back Riley. The soldiers face was a blaze of fury. He broke free of Xander and dove towards Spike. He floored the former vampire. He punched Spike in the face hard.

Contact

_I'm in a jungle its hot I hear screaming, people dying. Sam behind, sweat shining on her face god she's beautiful even now bruised and bloody I love her I do. Behind her I see a demon, appearing out of the jungle. I'm screaming, raising my weapon. Oh God don't let me be too late. Too late. She's screaming now too as its claws rip into her tearing her apart. The air is thick with a smell that I don't want to acknowledge. She dies screaming my name. I'm screaming, firing wildly through my tears. The demon runs towards me, clawing, scaring my face. I keep firing, the shots like thunder. The demon falls. I feel nothing_

Spike threw Riley off of him, sending the man flying into the air. Spike's eyes bulged at the barrage of images. He pushed himself to his feet, groping blindly.

The images kept coming.

_I'm standing at a grave, its Dressed in a black suit, surrounded by sombre people. I'm at my wife's grave. I'm not crying. I feel nothing_

Flash

_People come up telling me they're sorry, they're sorry. Useless words won't bring her back. She's there Buffy her hand on my shoulder telling me its okay we're all here for you its okay. She says I can cry if I want to. I can't. I feel nothing._

Flash

_I throw myself into my work I train my troops. To be better than she was. To be better than I was. It's the only way they'll survive. I feel nothing._

Flash

_Whenever I'm in Cleveland, Buffy and the others they're around me, they include me, make me feel a part of them. I promise myself that I'll protect them never let them down. I start to feel something._

Flash

_Giles has been crying I can tell, his eyes are bloodshot. He tells me that Buffy has been killed, murdered. Like Sam. He tells me who he thinks is responsible. Spike. I feel nothing again._

The images stopped leaving Spike panting, gasping for air on the floor. His face shined with sweat. He shakily wiped his forehead. What the hell was with the visions? They were intense; it was as if he was actually in them, experiencing them - he felt what was going on around him, the emotions in the vision. He noticed Riley getting up a few feet away.

"Finn…" he began struggling over the words. "Riley. I'm sorry" It seemed meagre, giving what he had just seen. The man had been through hell. He didn't deserve any more needling from Spike.

"What did you say?" Riley growled.

"I'm sorry…you saw her die. I'm sorry" Spike said uselessly.

"How could you…?" Riley muttered in shock.

"You saw her die? Who?" Xander asked confused. Realisation dawned across his face. "Oh God Riley you saw Sam die? I'm sorry man."

"How did you know?" Riley asked Spike numbly.

"Yeah Spike" Xander rounded on him, obviously not knowing what to say to Riley. Spike shook his head. He could feel the heat of Riley's stare, making him uncomfortable.

"I wish I knew mate" he said quietly. "I wish I did. I keep seeing things, visions I reckon. Some of the future, sometimes it's the past. I got some when I touched Fi…Riley there." Spike shivered "I…it's like I'm living them. I feel what's going on. Sights, sounds, smell everything." He looked at Riley. "Emotions." He couldn't believe it. He felt sorry for him. Riley Finn. Well stranger things have happened.

"You can see things?" Xander grabbed Spike excitedly "That means you can find out who killed her Spike! We can make the bastard pay!"

"I don't think it works like that mate" Spike said sadly. "Something needs to set it off. The little girl…"

"Huh?"

"Really creepy little girl" Spike explained "Keeps appearing before me telling me about this destiny I'm meant to have. She says she's from the Power's That Be. She gave me the visions. I think.

"So" a familiar voice interrupted. "Not only do you steal my gig, you have to muscle in on Cordy's too? Man Spike did you ever have an original thought?"

All three men turned to the origin of the voice. Spike's stomach turned to lead. It couldn't be him. No way in hell could it be him. He'd died back in L.A. Spike had been there. He had tried to save him.

No way in hell could it be Angel.

Yet there he stood in plain sight, his hands anchored in his pockets. He looked much the same as when Spike had last seen him, in his usual black trenchant. He looked like he'd rather be any other place but here. He looked unsure of himself, unsure of what he was doing there.

"Xander" he said quietly. "Is it true? Is she gone?"

Xander nodded dumbstruck. Angel took this quietly. Spike saw an emotion flicker across Angel's impassive face. He couldn't pin down what it was.

"Let me help."

* * *

They both walked in an uncomfortable silence through the city's streets. Spike was hesitant to bring up L.A worried of the reaction it would bring. After all Spike was a living (in all senses of the word) reminder of what Angel could have had, if the circumstances had been different. Chances are Angel didn't even want to be near Spike let alone talk to him.

When Giles had been filled in on the new arrival, he had told Angel and Spike to look over demon haunts, in an attempt to find clues to the murder. Riley and Xander had gone to the police, as per Giles's previous instructions. For Riley's part, he seemed only too eager to put some distance between Spike and himself; Spike's visions had visible shaken him to the core. It was Angel who finally broke the silence.

"Seems like we should at least be attempting some small talk"

"Yeah…how have you been?"

"Still a vampire and cursed. You?"

"Pissed and miserable"

They walked in silence some more.

"Look mate" Spike said, breaking the silence "I'm sorry for how it went down in L.A. Really. You deserved it more."

"Spike we're dropping this now" Angel said quietly "We're gonna get on with our jobs and find who killed her."

"Yeah okay. I just want you to know that I'm sorry" Spike held out his hand. Angel stared at it. He continued walking. Spike stared at his outstretched hand uselessly, sighed and ran to catch up with the vampire.

"So you look like you know where you're going?" Spike asked.

"Yeah"

"That's great…where?"

"I've kept my ear to the ground. Some demon's been bragging about killing the Slayer in some bar. I reckon that's as good as place as any to start don't you?"

"The Slayer?"

"What?"

"You called her the Slayer. Buffy I mean."

"Oh yeah…its been a long night I'm not with it"

Spike eyed him suspiciously.

"Right…well here we are"

They'd come to a large warehouse. Demons of all shapes and sizes were queuing up to get in the door. A mean looking demon bouncer was checking their names off a clipboard. The sounds of heavy club music could be heard outside. Even from a distance Spike could see the word 'Demonz' in big neon lettering above the bar entrance.

"I think Demon's are certainly playing it more low keys now days don't you mate?"

He turned to find Angel staring at the bar's entrance. Spike thought that he saw the corners of Angel's mouth struggling to contain a grin. He blinked and found Angel's face as impassive as always. Spike shrugged. Must have imagined it.

"Let's go" Angel ordered, striding confidently towards the entrance.

"Let's go? Oh its just like old bloody times aint it?" Spike complained. "Go where? You think we're just gonna push past that bouncer? Have you seen the size of him? Angel? Angel? You're just gonna push past him aren't you? Oi wait up!"

Angel ignored Spike's protest as he cut past the line towards the bouncer. The bouncer moved to block the vampire's path.

"Sorry man you aren't going without a ticket" The demon's voice was low and guttural, a voice that would inspire fear in any lesser being. Angel cut it off by slicing his hand through the demon's throat. The demon choked, his eyes widening in shock. Angel held him there for a minute before withdrawing his hand. The demon dropped to the floor with a wet thud. Angel looked at the corpse before walking into the bar, vanishing into the thumping mass of demons.

"Look's like Captain Forehead's got some stones" Spike muttered in disbelief. "Ponce is gonna get himself killed by himself" Spike ran towards the entrance, jumping the body of the dead bouncer.

Spike scanned the bar for any sign of Angel. He saw the vampire making a bee line for the bar itself. Spike was ready to follow him, just as a pair of strong hands held him back. He turned around with a sigh, facing two more bouncer demons.

"You have something to do with this?" one of them growled, still clearly audible over the music. Spike rolled his eyes.

"I don't have time for this mate. Sorry" He kicked the demon squarely in the chest, sending it flying backwards. It's companion ran forward grabbing Spike in a bone crunching grapple. Spike's features contorted with pain.

"Why…didn't…I…bring…a…weapon?" he gasped. Only one option. "This is gonna hurt" he moaned. He slammed his head forward into the demon's nose, breaking it. It howled in pain. The demon dropped Spike to the ground. Recovering quickly, Spike got up and ran into the crowd. He was vaguely aware of the commotion he had caused as he darted back and forth trying to find Angel. He noticed a raised platform, where a female demon was gyrating in time with the music. He leapt up onto it, much to the demon's shock.

"Won't take a minute luv" he told her. He scanned the crowd finally spotting Angel, throwing demon's out of the way as he ran after something. Spike saw a small demon running away through the crowd terrified. Spike was taken aback. This is the thing that was bragging about killing Buffy? It didn't add up. He noticed both were moving towards the fire exit. He jumped back in the crowd, chasing after Angel.

He battled through the throng of demons, bursting out of the exit. He couldn't see Angel or the small demon. He looked from left to right frantically. He faintly heard the sound of footsteps to his right and he began to sprint down towards the source. He turned a corner only to find that his quarry had vanished. Spike looked up noticing a dark figure at the top of a fire escape. Spike sighed and began to bound up the fire escape in pursuit.

He reached the top of the fire escape and climbed onto the warehouse roof. He saw Angel and the demon in the distance, pursuing the demon, leaping across rooftops towards the lights of the city. If they got too far ahead, Spike would lose them across in the caverns of the city. He ran after them pursuing at high speed.

* * *

As he leapt across the gap between rooftops, Spike heard sounds of a struggle, behind a forest of chimneys. He crouched low, sliding his back up against the wall. Not for the first time that night, he cursed his lack of weapons. As he moved closer, he head a high pitched scream in a demon language he didn't recognise. He dashed around the corner, ready for anything.

He saw Angel standing over the demon's corpse, his body heaving with exertion. Angel held the hilt of a bloodied sword. The moonlight reflected off the sword giving it an unearthly glow.

"Angel?" Spike asked "You alright mate?"

Angel whipped around, as if surprised that Spike had caught up with him. His face had transformed into the bumpy visage of the demon that resided within him. It shocked Spike; he realised that it had been years since he'd seen Angel like this. Anyone like this.

"Spike" he growled. "You caught up"

"Yeah" Spike replied. "I did. Led me on a right merry chase"

"I interrogated him for information" Angel gestured to the corpse "He got violent, so I finished him. I think it was all talk"

"Mind if I take a peek?" Without waiting for approval, Spike moved past to kneel by the demon. Angel shrugged and wandered off, polishing his sword with the sleeve of his jacket.

There was something wrong here, Spike realised. The corpse cut a sorry figure. It was bald and looked pathetic. The demon was small, wraithlike almost. It had blue skin, now covered with bruises and contusions. There were no claws on its hands and as he opened its mouth he realised that its teeth were blunt. He remembered Xander's words "_The lack of blood…the bite marks"_. Something else Xander had said, nudged at the fringes of Spike's memory. It seemed important. If only he could remember.

"Spike. Satisfied?" Angel called out to him. Spike rose to his feet and turned around to face Angel. Angel sat on the roof ledge, casually, his face back to normal. Spike wandered over and sat to join him.

"Something doesn't add up here mate" Spike told him He jerked his thumb in the direction of the demon "You really think something like that could take the Slayer? He'd have a tough time with a Girl Scout"

"Just what I heard Spike" Angel reached into his jacket and took out a carton of cigarettes. He took one out and lit it using his pocket lighter. He replaced the lighter and took a long drag on the cigarette. "Just what I'd heard" he said as he exhaled the smoke.

"Since when have you ever smoked?" Spike asked. He wished he could remember what else Xander had said. It must be important. Something wasn't right here.

"I've picked up a lot of bad habits since I last saw you." He offered Spike a cigarette out of the carton. Spike waved it away.

"Of course. Some of us have to worry about lung cancer" Angel remarked dryly. Spike bowed his head.

"I said I was sorry about that."

"What's done is done" Angel told him. He got up and started to pace the rooftop.

"Is it me or is something wrong with this picture?" Spike asked, giving voice to his thoughts. He gestured to the corpse. "Who could ever think that this bloke even had a chance? Hell I'm surprised he even tried to turn violent on you. He must have known that he didn't stand a chance"

"As the saying goes 'they're a superstitious and cowardly lot'. I've still been fighting the fight. Unlike some of us" Angel said pointedly. Spike darted to his feet.

"I _know _that I could have spent these past few years carrying on" Spike said defensively "But you know exactly what went down in L.A. What we were forced to do, what we _saw_! How you didn't run screaming into the night I'll never know."

"Guess I'm made of stronger stuff"

"Bollocks! You don't think we sacrificed that year? Fred, Wes and Gunn gave their lives for your goal! Christ knows I've paid for it! We all saw at Wolfram and Hart how much of a heartless bastard and be damn proud of it you could be at times. And while we're at it how the hell do you know what I've been doing?"

"I've heard things" Angel said off hand. Spike arched his eyebrow suspiciously. "Yeah Spike, you sacrificed loads. But you got rewarded for it. You got the prize. The Shanshu."

"And I readily admit that you deserved it more!" Spike's voice became louder. "But I was the Powers choice not you! Not after what you did!"

"Face facts Spike" Angel was seemingly ignoring what Spike had to say "You stole it from me. Just like you stole Buffy."

"What the hell's got into you?"

"It's the truth. You just want what I have. It's sad when you think about it"

"That's bull. Yeah I loved Buffy but she loved me in the end!"

"Oh she said she did. Maybe she was just settling"

Spike yet out a yell of frustration and turned his back on Angel.

"You're still an insufferable ponce I hope you know that" Spike stared off over the city lights.

"Oh I don't know Spike. I've been through some changes. In fact I've lost a lot of extra baggage."

Then it all fell into place.

The pathetic demon, the lack of claws and sharp teeth. It wasn't the demon; it had never been the demon. He must have seen something and had to be silenced. Spike realised he had seen Angel smoke before. Back in Sunnydale, the first year. When he held out his hand to Angel, Angel wouldn't take it. Because Spike's flashes of insight seemed to be triggered by touch. He remembered hearing that only someone Buffy trusted could get into the house. She trusted Angel. Finally he remembered what else Xander had said.

_"Only a vampire could have done it"_

God.

He felt the blade slice through his chest before he saw it. Blood trickled out of his mouth, his eyes bulged in shock. It felt like a white fire in his stomach. He began to gasp for air. God he couldn't breathe.

"Only kidding Spike; she was screaming your name while I killed her" Angelus whispered in his ear

The bastard was right. Spike could see the images flicker in front of his eyes in a blur. He could hear her. He could see what he did to her. God.

"See Spike, Oh sweet childe of mine" whispered Angelus malevolently "I lost my soul. I don't miss it. Its all so very freeing. Almost makes up for what you took, you know? But not quite. So I thought that I'd take away what you most hold dear. Hell who am I kidding? I would have gutted the Slayer anyway. Crushing you was just a very sweet bonus." He wrenched the blade, making Spike shout in pain "But you know what? You failed her, you didn't deserve her love. You failed them all and you know what I'm going to do now? I'm going to go back to the hospital and kill, maim, rape whoever I see. I've always wanted to see what Willow tasted like and Xander's good eye is just waiting to be gouged out. I've never liked Riley, I'll torture him to death. I'll torture Rupert too, remind him of the good times we had back in Sunnydale" He paused. "And dear sweet Dawn. She felt so soft, so tender. I'm gonna enjoy her the most."

Spike's vision started to turn black at the edges. There was nothing he could do; no way he could save them now. I'm sorry Buffy Oh God I'm sorry.

"I am tempted to drain you dry as well but you know what? Slayer blood is just such a rush I'm still dizzy. Course you know that don't you? All those people you've killed, I bet you've earned a prime position in some hell dimension somewhere and I bet you're positively itching to find out. Who am I to stop you? I'll see you around Spike."

Angelus drew the sword out of Spike and causally pushed him off of the rooftop. He looked down to see Spike tumble through the night air and hit the ground with a bone crunching thud. No doubt about it; he was dead. Angel dusted off his hands.

"Humans" he said wistfully "So very very fragile"

* * *

Willow Rosenberg was not accustomed to admitting defeat. She firmly believed that every problem had a solution; you just had to keep trying until it appeared. In this case, she was trying to find who killed Buffy and it was looking more and more likely she wouldn't be able to. She just couldn't understand it. With the astral plane at her disposal, she should be able to find anyone, anywhere.

Not many Wicca's could access the astral realm. It didn't take a lot of power, just a lot of skill and determination. It had taken Willow the best part of a year to actually reach that level. It was worth it.

When asked what it was like, she struggled to explain it. It was incredibly difficult to put into words. When you reach the astral plane everything just seemed so…vibrant and unreal. You don't see things with a normal perception, at least not at first. You see things in colour, spectrums of colour. You can see people's souls. Willow remembered that first experience. When you reach the level of consciousness needed to get to the plane, it's an amazing experience. Like you're waking up for the first time, or maybe being born. It's a feeling of elation, like falling in love for the first time.

Willow remembered looking down on herself. Her body was glowing with an almost blinding light. She saw Xander next to her; he shone with the brightest light, much brighter than her. It struck her how pure he was.

She later learned to reign in her perceptions, so that she could see details and characteristics. Willow found that even then, everything had an aura, of different colours, representing the quality of a person's soul. Willow herself, was an ethereal, invisible spirit and truth be told that wasn't far off. She could fly; pass through objects- it was all very 'Willow the friendly ghost'.

Now, Willow looked over the city in her astral form, trying to find Buffy's killer. It was harder than she first thought it would be. In theory, it was all just a matter of patience. She could look down over the city and expand her consciousness and 'zone' in on trouble spots. It had taken a while but Willow learnt that she could 'read' a person's aura, sense what they've done. In theory all she needed to do was drift towards the killer.

That didn't seem to be working. And it was making Willow want to scream.

Willow was distracted from her search by a faint tugging, at the edge of her sub-conscious. Dimly she could hear her name being called. Sighing, resigning herself to continuing her search later, she let herself drift back to her body.

Returning to her body always felt uncomfortable. It was like she was tethered, weighed down. For a while it felt alien, it always took her a few minutes to adjust. Once she felt in control, she opened her eyes to see Giles standing at the door.

"Any luck?" he asked.

"Nope not even a little" she replied "Giles I don't think we're gonna find this guy" she continued worriedly.

"Willow we have to remain positive" Giles took off his glasses and began to clean them "Dawn could awake at any time, we need to present a strong and united front and could you please stop levitating? It's very hard to carry out a conversation when you're all the way up there"

"Oh" Willow looked down and grinned sheepishly. "Sorry Giles. Habit" Slowly she drifted to the floor.

"Quite" Giles smiled fondly. His attention was diverted at a commotion from down the corridor. He put his glasses back and moved towards the source. Willow followed him at a close pace. Giles motioned at her to be ready for anything. They turned a corner to find Angel, surrounded by doctors and nurses. He had a gash across his forehead. In his arms he held the limp form of Spike.

"Giles" Angel croaked his voice hoarse with emotion. "The bastard got him. He killed Spike"

* * *

Angelus found it hard to contain his smile. The fools were all so damned trusting, there was absolutely no challenge anymore. He found himself nostalgic for the old days where Giles would only suffer his presence with the safety precaution of a crossbow. How had they managed to get on during those days? He stifled a chuckle as he remembered Buffy persuaded Giles to welcome Angel. He bet she would regret those words now. If she weren't dead and all.

As he watched the Councils medical staff try to revive Spike, it was hard to not to burst out laughing. They were so god damned stupid. What he wouldn't give to just grab a scalpel and just slice open their throats…

"Angel?"

Bathe in their blood, revel in the carnage…

"Angel?"

Angelus shook his head

"Sorry Giles you were saying?"

"Do you remember anything at all?"

"He blindsided me Giles. Its how I got this" He pointed to the gash on his forehead. Self inflicted but Giles didn't need to know that "Knocked me out straight away. I couldn't do anything."

One of the doctors walked over to Giles.

"I'm sorry Mr Giles; there was nothing we could do. He's dead"

"I'm sure we'll get over it" Giles said off hand "What was the cause of death?"

"Well there was serious damage to the chest area, possibly caused by a blade of some sort. It is possible he could have survived that but it's hard to tell. The damage was exacerbated by the fall he seems to have sustained. It broke several bones. His lungs and heart were pierced by his ribs. There was no way for him to survive"

"He was a good guy" Angelus remarked. "Despite what went between us all, he was a good guy" His sides hurt from barely constrained laughter. He deserved an Oscar for this. Giles nodded.

"We'll arrange some sort of memorial for him later. For the time being, we'll consolidate our efforts. Once the others arrive we'll discuss the best avenue to go down."

"The others?"

"Yes. Xander, Riley. The…sigh…Scoobies."

Perfect

"It'll be great to see everyone together again" Angelus smiled "Real great"

* * *

Willow stood at the doorway, looking at Dawn. Her injuries seemed mostly healed by now. For all intents and purposes it looked like she was sleeping. Tears formed at the edges of Willows eyes, as the sadness of it all overwhelmed her. For a while everyone was happy. Didn't the Scoobies deserve it? Why did the world keep taking that away from them?

"Hey" said Xander softly from behind her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "You okay?"

"I'm hanging in there" she answered quietly "Did you hear about Spike?"

"Yeah. Tough break"

She looked up at him, worry in her eyes.

"How long can we stay happy Xander? We just found each other, how long before one of us dies, or goes evil, or gets transformed? How can we stay happy in this life? What do we do Xander I'm just so so scared" She buried her face into his chest, sobs shaking her body.

"Hey Will, don't cry" he said soothingly "Don't think like that"

"Xander we have to" she looked up at him "We have to assume the worst. Look at what's happening…" Tears threatened to overwhelm her again.

"Look" Xander took her hand and led her to a chair. She sat down and he kneeled in front of her, clasping her hands in his. "You know the life we lead…nothings really certain. We could not be fast enough, not be lucky enough. Someday some demon may get lucky. Or hell we could walk in front of a bus. Point is, we can't let that scare us. We can't let that stop us. We have to take chances to be happy. And worse comes to worse? If one of us dies and we move on to whatever's next, you know what? I'll wait for you. I'll wait so that we can be together again."

"Really?" Willow smiled through her tears

"Really. I promise. I love you Will."

"I love you too"

They kissed briefly, both smiling. Xander wiped a stray tear away from her eyes.

"Okay, how about you dry those purdy eyes of yours?" She gave a small giggle. "I'm gonna go track down the G-man, see what our next move is."

"'Kay"

He kissed her again.

"Catch you later"

* * *

Angelus watched the tender scene from the shadows of the medical supply closet. He watched Xander walk off down the corridor. Willow dried her eyes and was smiling to herself. It was such a tender, loving scene it near enough broke his heart. If he had one that is. Well it really was the perfect time to start maiming them wasn't it? And who better to start with then the love struck fool in front of him?

Silently he slipped out of the closet and made his way up the corridor towards Willow. He clasped his hands behind him, holding a small switchblade in one of them.

"Hey Will" he said, as he came up behind her. She gave a little yelp of surprise when he spoke. He gave a small smile.

"Oh Angel you surprised me" she said as she turned around.

"Sorry about that" he motioned at the room behind her. "How's Dawn?"

"In a bad way" Willow turned to look at her "But the Doctors are hopeful"

"That's good" Angelus smiled "Really good"

"Yeah" Willow said quietly.

"So you and Xander" he continued "How long?"

"About two years after Sunnydale" she replied without turning around "It's a long story" she said brightly.

"Yeah" he said brightly. Without warning, he burst forward, pulling her hair back and holding the blade to her taunt neck. He leant in, fangs glistening in the sterile light of the hospital.

"Course you were always second best for him weren't you?"

* * *

Xander smiled as he walked down the corridor towards the meeting room. Despite all that was going on, he and Willow felt right. He put his hands into his pockets and felt the box there, a comforting weight. Smiling, he reached in and opened it revealing the diamond ring inside. He knelt down and held it outstretched.

"Willow Rosenberg will you marry me...No" he shook his head. "Will you do me the honour of…? Nope that won't work either. Hey Will how about it...Nope that wont work at all" He frowned.

"So you do your best work under pressure? Strike while the iron is hot, Harris my man. No time like the present" He gave a goofy grin as he started back towards Willow.

* * *

"Just so you know Will, you even try to mutter a spell, I'll slit this pretty pale throat of yours"

"Angel?" Willow choked "What are you doing?"

"C'mon Willow you're a clever girl work it out" Angelus smirked.

"Goddess…Angelus"

"Got it in one Red"

"It was you wasn't it? You killed Buffy and Spike"

"Give the girl a round of applause!" he mocked. He pressed the blade closer.

"Why couldn't I find you?"

"They make amulets for anything these days. Now guess who's gonna be my next victim?"

Willow gave a little whimper.

"Don't do this. Please. Angel, if you're in there we can help you"

"Angels not driving this time Red. We've covered this"

"Please…"

"Oh Willow what I've got planned for you" Angelus talked over her "I'm gonna kill you obviously. Goes without saying. But who knows what I'll do to you then? It would break poor old Xander's heart wouldn't it? For you to be _defiled_." He gave a small laugh "Then I'll move on to sweet little Dawnie over there. I've already had a go. At least she wont struggle as much this time."

"PUT HER DOWN RIGHT NOW YOU UNDEAD BASTARD!"

Angelus manoeuvred around so that Willow was placed between himself and Xander. Xander held a crossbow and was aiming it levelly at Angelus.

"Put. Her. Down. NOW!" he barked.

"Oh Xander haven't we grown up!" Angelus laughed.

"You okay Will?" Xander asked, ignoring the vampire. All the time, his arm remained steady.

"Been better" Willow gave a nervous smile.

"Let her go now" Xander told him, his voice cold and threatening. "Or so help me God I will kill you."

"Whoa Harris you have stones" Angelus remarked "But how do you plan to do that with dear, sweet Willow between me and that bolt?"

"He wont have to" a voice said from behind them. A metal tray was brought down hard onto Angelus's head, causing him to drop Willow and fall to the floor. Willow rushed into Xander's arms. Angelus looked up to face his attacker.

"Coz I'm going to rip your heart out right here and now you piece of trash"

Standing there, dressed only in jeans and very much alive, was an extremely angry Spike.

* * *

Spike's eyes flew open. His body arched in agony. He tried to scream but his vocal chords wouldn't work. His arms and legs were on fire, his chest felt like a hundred fiery needles. All he could hear was wet noises, as if his bones were moving. The pain was intense. He gasped for air, why couldn't he breathe? His body spasmed, knocking things to the floor with a metallic pain.

The pain stopped.

Spike shot up. Where the hell was he? He looked down. Better yet why was he naked? He looked around. Metal trolleys, shelves, mean looking scalpels, dead bodies.

"Yup" he muttered "I'm in a morgue" He jumped down from his trolley. First he needed some clothes. Then he was going to find out who stripped of his clothes and put him in a morgue. Because when you get down to it, it wasn't a funny joke.

He walked over to a locker and ripped it off its hinges. Nothing. He moved down the row, ripping the doors off until he found his clothes. As he reached out, his head was bombarded with visions.

_I've been stabbed goddamn Angel he killed her I'm falling through the air, my chest is on fire. He killed her, now he's killing me._

Spike stumbled backwards. The vision's continued

_Angel upstairs he's sneaking up behind Willow, Xander walking towards them he's killing them like he killed me like he killed Buffy Dawn's next dear god stop this_

The visions stopped. Spike looked up, hatred blazing in his eyes. Angel, Angelus who cares? He'd killed Buffy, he'd hurt Dawn, he'd killed Spike. And he was about to kill Xander and Willow, Spike knew this with ironclad certainty. Questions like, how on earth Spike had come back to life could wait till later. Now it was time for some payback. Spike threw on his jeans and raced upstairs.

He darted up the stairs, following some kind of internal guide, hoping that he'd end up on the right floor. His gut told him to go through the next door. Spike burst through it, and started to race up the corridor. He could hear Xander shouting. As he grabbed a pan from a nearby trolley, he muttered a little prayer.

Please God, don't let me be too late this time.

* * *

"Spike. You look a lot more alive than last time I saw you. How do you do it?" Angelus smiled.

"I eat right. Exercise" He kicked the vampire in the stomach. Spike looked over to Xander and Willow.

"You alright?"

"Oh yeah never been better" Xander replied dumbstruck. "You?"

"I will be" Spike told him coldly as Angelus rose to his feet. "I will be."

"So" Angelus smiled. The bastard was enjoying this "You wanna go now?"

Spike raised his fists.

"Let's dance."

"Come on Spike you must be joking. You can barely stand"

It was true. Spike felt weak, drained. Obviously resurrecting took a lot out of him

"Got more than enough in me to take care of you mate."

"You need some obedience boy" Angelus's voice dropped to a low and threatening tone. With a growl, he dove towards Spike. The impact drove the air from Spikes lungs. He grunted as his back slammed against the wall of the corridor. Angel began to hit him in the face, snarling bestially. Spike tasted the warm, salty taste of his own blood in his mouth. Dark started to close in around his eyes. He weakly tried to fight back, but Angelus just laughed it off.

"Get off of him!" Xander jumped onto Angelus's back. Angelus growled and threw him off easily. Xander slammed against the wall and sprawled unconscious on the floor. Through his daze, Spike seized his chance. With a roar, Spike drove his fist into Angelus's stomach. Angelus doubled up in pain. Spike grabbed the back of the vampires head, and slammed his knee up into it. Angelus staggered, dazed. He stood doubled over. His face slowly came up and to Spike's anger, the vampire was still laughing.

"That really all you got William?"

"I've not even started yet mate" Spike wiped his mouth free of blood. His voice remained light but his body shook with exertion. He pushed his exhaustion away; he was determined to finish this. Still didn't mean that he couldn't accept a little help.

"Red NOW!" Spike yelled as he jumped out of the way. Angelus turned around realising that he hadn't accounted for the Wicca.

"Deturbo Aspello!" she commanded eyes jet black. Willow raised her arms wide as a bolt of energy hit Angelus squarely in the chest. The force of the blast threw Angelus into the air, sending him flying through into the stairwell at the end of the corridor.

Willow ran over to check on the unconscious Xander. Spike pushed himself up from the floor, grimacing at the pain racking his body.

"He ok?" he asked.

"Yeah just knocked unconscious" Willow replied. "Silly old Xander…" she whispered.

"Red I'm going after him" Spike told her.

"No! He'll kill you!"

"He'll try" Spike ran towards the stairwell.

"Spike! Remember that deep down he's still Angel! Don't kill him!"

"Accidents happen" he muttered.

He barged into the stairwell door, and immediately fell to the floor in a crouch. He carefully scanned the area before starting to move down the stairs slowly. As he reached the next floor, he saw a pool of blood slowly trickle around the corner. He jumped the last few steps and checked on the corpse. One of the watchers security guards must have got in the monsters way. Gingerly, Spike took the dead guards revolver. He hated the thought, but the state he was in, he was going to need all the help he could get.

"Sorry mate, I need this more than you"

As he handled the gun, it struck him how alien it felt. When was the last time he'd handled a gun? He blinked as he remembered it was that night on Buffy's doorstep, with the shotgun. He had intended to kill her but had ended up comforting her. Now he was avenging her death. Strange world. He checked the clip. Fifteen bullets. Fifteen chances to end this tonight. He only planned on using the one.

He slowly made his way towards the door, holding the gun in front of him. With one hand, he pushed open the door. The corridor was empty aside from the sound of the slamming door. Carefully, Spike moved forward holding the gun out in front of him, scanning left and right. The air was thick with blood; he recognised the smell even with his duller human senses. He had sounds of struggle from the adjacent corridor. Spike ran down the corridor and dashed around the corner.

It took Spike barely a second to react to the sight. Angelus stood there, holding a terrified guard in his grip. Around his feet, corpses were littered, five or six at Spikes count. Some were missing they're heads. Their blood littered the walls. Snarling Spike raised the gun.

"Drop him" With a smile Angelus calmly ripped the guard's throat out, sending an arc of blood into the air. Spike fired the gun once but Angelus was already moving. The bullet missed him by inches. Damn his reflexes were screwed; he should have made that shot. Swearing Spike tried to track him but the vampire was too fast. He squeezed off another shot only to dent the plaster in the walls. The breath was taken from him as he felt Angelus's hands squeeze his throat.

"Here we are again Spike" the vampire growled.

Spike weakly clawed at Angelus's face. It couldn't end here. Not now.

"You're making a habit of dying alone Spike" Angelus told him gleefully.

"He's not alone" A shot rang out, hitting Angelus square in his right shoulder. Shouting in pain, Angelus dropped Spike to the floor. Angelus turned around, anger blazing in his eyes.

"We'll stand with him" Giles continued. He leant on his cane with one hand and held his other hand holding a small crossbow. Flanking him stood Xander, also holding a bigger crossbow and Willow, energy crackling in her hands, her eyes filled with darkness. Her hair waved in an invisible breeze. To the left of Willow stood Riley, his face impassive, holding a handgun, its barrel smoking.

"Now step away from him now Angelus" Giles said coldly. "Step away now" Angelus snarled, like a wild animal and ran towards the group.

"Riley if you would be so kind" Giles asked calmly. Without blinking, Riley fired again, hitting Angelus in the other shoulder. The force of the bullet sent Angelus spinning to the ground.

"The only reason that I'm not killing you is that deep down Willow thinks that you can still be saved. But mark my words; the rest of us will have no compunction in taking you out." To emphasise the point, Xander stepped forward and aimed the bow at the fallen vampire. Riley slid another bullet into the chamber and aimed at Angelus's head. The vampire growled.

"This isn't over"

Moving too fast for the two men to react, he kicked the weapons out of the men's hands and vanished down the corridor.

"GET AFTER HIM!" Giles roared. Without arguing Xander and Riley ran after him. Weakly, Spike got up and started to follow.

"Oi wait up!" he said weakly. Spike stumbled a few steps and fell to the floor, exhausted.

* * *

Angelus stumbled out of the hospital and started to lurch forward down the steps. His body was on fire, every fibre of his being ached. Thoughts of revenge filled his mind. This was all Spikes' fault. Spike and that slayer bitch. God he'd loved killing her, her blood had tasted so sweet. The killing it had been so…sensual. Better than sex.

Angelus ran across the street into a dark alleyway opposite. He turned back to the hospital to see Xander and Riley come through the door. Riley pointed in one direction. Xander nodded and headed off while Riley slowly walked down into the street. He held his gun out, his arm steady, scanning the streets to and fro.

Obscured by darkness, Angelus growled at the sight of the soldier. All of them had embarrassed him tonight. Badly. He was going to take sweet delight in killing them all. Ripping their hearts out, stripping their flesh from their bones. Then he'd kill Spike. He had something special planned for Spike. This was all about Spike.

Slowly he retreated further back into the darkness. As he started moving away from the hospital, he couldn't suppress his smile. Sure, tonight had been bad for him, he'd got carried away. But he'd only ever intended for this to be a taster. A prelude.

He had such fun and games planned.

* * *

"You let him get away?" Spike exclaimed incredulously. "How could you let him get away?"

Spike sat on a medical gurney, still shirtless being examined by a Council doctor. Spike gave him a threatening look, as he pressed a cold stethoscope against his chest. The doctor appeared not to notice, immersed as he was in his work. Every so often he let out a slight 'hmm' sound. The other Scoobies stood dotted around the examining room. Xander and Willow were holding each other tight, both visibly shaken by the night's events. Giles remained composed lost in his thoughts. Riley paced around the room, his face blank.

"It's not like we thought 'Okay here's an idea! Lets give him a head start!'" Xander replied angrily.

"He was injured! Red had knocked it all out of him!"

"Spike, for future reference, something you of all people should know? Vampires: not exactly human!"

"Xander, Spike" Giles broke in quietly "Focus"

Both men stopped talking.

"Dr Agon" Giles said to the doctor "What's the prognosis?"

"Well Mr Giles" the doctor turned to face the rest of the group. He had a look of permanent confusion on his face, as if he was constantly puzzling out the world. His appearance was unkempt; the lab coat he was wearing was stained with the remains of previous meals and his tie hung loosely around his neck. He pushed the rim of his glasses back up as he spoke "To use the scientific term: I'm stumped"

"Can see why we pay you the big bucks, mate" Spike whispered.

"There is no discernable medical or scientific explanation as to why…er...um..."

"Spike" Giles interjected

"Yes yes Spike. As to why Spike has returned to life. I'll need to run more tests but nothing that I can do with the facilities here."

"What kind of tests?" Giles asked.

"Rather more invasive procedures I think."

"Invasive?" Spike's voice was higher pitched than normal. His eyes were wide. Xander couldn't help but snigger.

"Yes, probes and the like"

"Doc" Spike said seriously "I will hurt you"

"Spikes resurrection will have to wait until later" Giles broke in, interrupting the conversation. The doctor looked relieved and used it as an excuse to run out of the room. "We must find Angelus."

"G-man I don't think we're gonna find him unless he wants us to" Xander told him, gravely.

"We've been on the defensive in this too long" Riley broke in his voice quiet "We need to take the battle to him"

"G.I Joe has a point" Spike said. He frowned "Now that didn't sound right"

"Location spells are useless, while he has that amulet thingy" Willow's face was pale, in stark contrast to the red of her hair, yet her voice remained strong.

"I say we go back to basics" Xander volunteered "Hitting demon bars seem to work well back in Sunnydale. Can't see why they wouldn't here"

"I'm on it" Riley walked to the door, opened it and exchanged a few words with the soldier outside. The soldier saluted and marched off. "It'll take a few minutes""Angel…Angelus" Spike corrected himself "He killed a demon. I'm thinking he saw something. Makes sense that maybe he told someone else about it. It could help. Demon bars sound like a safe bet."

"So glad it meets with approval" Xander said dryly. Spike ignored the comment. Silence fell on the room.

"I…can't believe it was Angel" Willow whispered "It seems so…strange. Wrong somehow. They were so in love, back when it all started." Tears began trickling from her eyes "They weren't meant to end this way. If anyone should have killed her it should have been…"

"Will" Xander said softly, warning her. Willow gasped as she realised what she was about to say.

"It should have been Spike" Spike finished for her. "It's ok Will." He smiled reassuringly, trying not to show the hurt he was feeling. She smiled apologetically. An uncomfortable silence smothered the room, only broken at the sound of a brisk rapping at the door. Riley opened it to reveal the soldier he had sent away holding a sheet of paper, which he handed to Riley. Riley shut the door and began to scan the paper.

"Major Glory gonna share what he's reading?" Spike asked to no one in particular.

"It's a list of demon bars in the area" Riley muttered, his brow furrowed in concentration.

"We have connections now!" Willow exclaimed brightly. Spike had to smile.

"One name sticks out" Riley broke in, handing the paper to Giles. Giles looked down the list, immediately finding the name Riley had seen.

"I concur. Spike, Xander would you go and see what you could find?"

"Hey lets see where we're going first" Xander snatched the list out of the older mans hands. Spike looked over his shoulder as they both read the printout. Simultaneously they smiled.

"We're on it"

* * *

"Hullo Willy!" Xander said jovially.

"Huh…huh…Harris!" Willy cried "What the hell are you doing here?" The bartender hadn't changed much at all since Xander had last seen him. He was dressed in dirty clothes, a grimy apron wrapped around his waist and a filthy dishrag. Perspiration dripped down his face.

"Heard you was in the neighbourhood, thought I'd drop by" Xander rested his hands on the bar. He looked down and thinking better of it, quickly removed his hands from the bar and anchored them in their pockets. "Any news"

"W-w-what do you mean?" Willy asked doing his best to look innocent. It wasn't working.

"Look as much as I'd love to go through our usual bargaining for information, I'm really not in the mood as I'm sure you no doubt heard. So how about you just tell me, what do you know about the Slayers death? Where's Angelus? And answer fast Willy. My friend here is a mite impatient" Xander jerked a thumb towards a silent, imposing figure whose face was obscured by a cloak.

"Nuh…nothing I don't know anything" Willy stammered "A-a-and you're friend don't scare me!"

"Try saying that without the stutter and we'll talk" Xander smirked. He felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. Xander turned his head to stare in the face of a mean looking demon, mean tusks protruding from a piggish face.

"I have friends too Harris" Willy said, suddenly a lot braver. "Mine are bigger"

"Yeah" sighed Xander wistfully "But not quite as mean as mine" The cloaked figure jabbed his fingers into the pig demons eyes, making it howl in agony. Ochre blood started dripping down its face. The figure withdrew his fingers and wiped them nonchalantly on his cloak. The demon fell to the ground with a high pitched keening noise. Turing around to face the bar, he tossed the cloak to the floor. Spike stared at Willy, an evil smile on his face.

"Oh…crap…" Willy muttered.

"So you remember my friend then?" Xander couldn't help but smile.

"Now" Spike began to stride towards the bar "I think Xander here asked a question Where's Angelus?"

"I dunno Spike I swear!"

"Not good enough" Spike snarled. He reached over the bar and grabbed Willy by the shirt. He pulled him over the bar and reached down to grab a bottle. Smashing it against the bar, he held the dragged shard above Willy's terrified face.

"Sp…sp…Spike!" Willy screamed. The bar went silent. "Someone help!"

"Spike…_The _Spike?" a voice asked.

"Look at that I'm famous" Spike said grimly.

"William the Bloody?"

"One and only"

Silence

"You're on your own Willy" the voice said. The bar chatter resumed.

"Now tell me what you know!" Spike growled, the glass inching further towards Willy's face.

"He'll kill me!" Willy whimpered

"You think we won't?" Spike whispered menacingly. The glass touched Willy's forehead drawing blood.

"He's in a warehouse down town just please please don't kill me!" Xander and Spike shared a look. Smiling Spike let go of.

"There Willy wasn't so hard was it?" Both men began to leave the bar. "We'll send Angelus your regards…Pampers" Everyone in the bar turned to look at the growing wet stain on Willy's trousers. The sound of demon laughter soon echoed throughout the night.

* * *

"Man I need to get a rep like yours dude" Xander told Spike as they walked through dark the dark Cleveland night.

"Centuries of murder, torture and evil will do that for you" Spike replied. "You called the others yet?"

"Yeah they're mobilising to the warehouse now…why are you laughing?"

"Its you" Spike sniggered "All of you. Using words like 'mobilised'. It still sounds like you're playing dress up"

Xander gave a reluctant smile.

"Yeah I know what you mean. It doesn't feel right to me either." He confided "Far as I'm concerned best years of my life were when we were back in Sunnydale. I have a whole lot of happy memories there you know? Things seemed so much simpler"

"That they were" Spike agreed

"Now" Xander continued "Everything just seems so dark. I mean my best friend is dead and we're off to try and kill her vampire un-souled boyfriend."

"World is dark mate" Spike told him "Just be thankful that you probably wont have to see too much of the dark stuff"

"Yeah. Believe me I am"

For a while they walked in silence.

"So you and Red" Spike broke the silence first "When did she become less lesbian?"

"Right after she broke up with Kennedy. That was rough on her and I spent a lot of time with her, trying to help her. One thing lead to another…and well, turns out being bisexual was a good option for her."

"Bisexual?"

"Yeah"

"Good deal."

"Yah"

Both men chuckled.

"You reckon we're gonna end this tonight?" Xander asked.

"I think so" Spike replied "One way or another. Red still thinks he can be saved."

"I know. I love her but she's wrong."

"You ready to do what it takes?"

"I always have been"

"Good man" Spike gave a grim smirk "How many times do you reckon we've done this now? Walked off into battle?"

"Man…way too many times too count"

"You reckon this is going to be a big one? Apocalypse level?"

"Could be. Wouldn't be the first time he's tried it would it? What do you think?"

"God I hope not. Last time I went into an apocalypse with you, I got crispy fried"

"You came back though. From being cooked, from being stabbed"

"Looks like it's what I do"

"What you gonna do when all this is over?"

"Dunno. Stick around to see Dawn. Let her know that I'm looking out for her. After that who knows?"

"Thanks…for saving our lives earlier with Angelus, for doing this. Means a lot man" Xander held out his hand. Spike took it and shook it.

"This little bit of male bonding…we never speaking of it again?" Spike asked

"God no. I don't want anyone to think that I don't hate your guts"

"Me neither"

Both men smiled.

"Almost there" Xander observed

"Let's get to work…" Spike muttered. He looked thoughtful "On second thought forget I said that"

* * *

They joined the other Scoobies on top of an adjacent building. Riley stood viewing the warehouse with a pair of high powered binoculars. Giles was leaning heavy on his cane, Willow hovering nearby looking nervous.

"Yo Riley! Seen anything?" Xander asked

"Negative. He's hiding from us"

"Well we'll just have to go in and get him" Spike growled.

"No he'll expect that he's probably laid a trap" Xander warned him. Spike looked at him incredulously. "You knew that didn't you? Shutting up now"

"In terms of a plan?" Riley asked deferring to Giles. Giles cleared his throat and began to talk. Everyone began to listen.

"We have teams of Slayers nearby to go in, if the situation warrants it" He eyed each of the group in turn "That's a last resort. I don't want it getting to that. We're finishing it tonight and us alone. At the risk of sounding melodramatic this is about avenging Buffy."

"Giles…you sure she would have wanted us to go in like this?" Willow broke in "I mean we plan to kill him"

"No" Giles conceded "No she wouldn't. Which is why I'm asking you to try and perform the re-souling ritual, we have all the necessary ingredients here. However we cant risk that he escapes us tonight"

"Ok Giles" Willow said resolutely "I understand" She wandered off to fetch what she needed from the van down below.

"Riley" Giles continued "Xander. Spike. You're going in after him. Spike has the greater knowledge of how Angelus works, Xander second, so Riley, defer to them. I would come too but circumstances" he gestured to his cane "prevent me from doing so. Stay in constant radio contact. Stick together. Do whatever you have to" His voice had dropped low and threatening. He checked to make sure Willow was out of earshot "Make him suffer for what he's done. I fail to see a good reason to keep him alive now for what he's done"

"Is this you talking Giles?" Xander asked quietly "Or are we talking to Ripper now?"

"Do what needs to be done" The emptiness in Gile's eyes told Xander all he needed to know. A chill went down Xander's spine.

"Let's get going"

* * *

They approached the warehouse slowly. Spike and Xander both held a sword each while Riley opted for his rifle. Riley was in front scanning the area. Spike and Xander followed at a discreet distance. Riley reached the door and held out a hand for the others to stop. Carefully he opened it, peering through the small space that it provided. He shoved the door open and scanned the darkness in front of him from left to right. He pumped his fist into the air twice, signalling for the others to follow.

"Never quite understood why he does that" Xander muttered slowly.

"Oi Nick Fury!" Spike yelled "You're looking like a tit! Can the stealth destroyer approach! He already knows we're here!"

"Well he does now!" Riley yelled back exasperated "Just get in here!"

Unable to resist a self satisfied smirk, Spike followed Xander into the warehouse. As soon as the door shut, the warehouse was illuminated with light. Towers of boxes cast long shadows. All three of the men stood ready.

"Where are you, you bloodsucking bastard?" Spike whispered.

"Behind you" a sing song voice replied. As one they whipped around to see Angelus descend upon them. He landed between them. Xander shouted as he tried to bring the sword down on top of the vampire's neck. Angelus grabbed his wrist mid slice and simply threw Xander backward. Riley cocked his rifle. Angelus grabbed the muzzle, yanking it out the soldier's hands and throwing it to the ground. Angelus gave Riley an uppercut sending him flying. Spike had more luck, striking Angelus firmly in the jaw. Angelus rolled with the punch and sent his foot into Spike's stomach, forcing the air out of his body. Angelus jumped up and vanished into the rafters. Each of the men struggled to their feet.

"What the hell is he doing?" Riley asked

"He's toying with us. This is fun for him" Spike muttered.

"Oh how right you are!" Angelus yelled. He was standing on a metal walk way looking down on the trio. His face had a look of maniacal glee. "Oh so very fun!" He looked at Riley and Xander "I'm giving both of you a choice. You can leave and take the old man and the dyke and run. Far from here. I only want Spike" He smiled evilly "Stay and I'll kill you all. Painfully"

"No way" Xander said quietly. "We stay. Take him Riley" Silently Riley raised a pistol and shot the vampire. Angelus had already moved. He was gone.

"Bad idea" he yelled "Real bad idea"

"Spread out!" Spike ordered "Spread out!"

Before they could move Angelus was on them again, grabbing Riley around the neck. Xander and Spike stood motionless waiting for his next move. Smiling Angelus, flicked his wrist revealing a knife which he held against Riley's throat. His smile growing wider he slashed the blade across the soldier's throat. Riley's eyes went wide as blood poured out in a crimson arc. Angelus dropped the soldier to the floor and retreated backwards pointing at Xander malevolently.

"You're next Harris" he grinned.

Riley was clutching at his throat, struggling to catch his breath. Swearing Xander tore a strip of the sleeve of his shirt and wrapped it around Riley's wound, trying to staunch the flow of blood.

"We need to get him out of here Spike!"

"You take him" Spike eyed Angelus retreating back to the walkway "I'm finishing this!" Without waiting for an answer Spike ran after the vampire. Cursing, Xander picked up Riley's limp form and struggled to the door.

Angelus was waiting in the middle of the walkway, as Spike clambered up the stairs to face him.

"Alone at last" Angelus said gleefully "We don't spend quite so much time together anymore William, we should do this more often"

"I'll kill you" he growled "You took her. Why did you do it?"

"Now" Angelus was positively beaming "I'd have killed her soon as I got rid of that pesky soul but" he jabbed a finger in the air "This is the amazingly sweet, satisfying part, I cant tell you how much I'm savouring this moment I can tell you! All of this" he gestured wide with his arm "it was all Angel's idea"

"…What?" Spikes eyes went wide.

"Oh yes!" Angelus crowed "I was creative with it sure, added my own spin on things, the wimp didn't want Buffy dead but he did want one thing. Revenge on you Spike. He wanted to take away what you held most dear just like you took what he held from him"

"Liar!" Spike spat "You bloody liar! The Angel I knew would never do this!"

"Believe what you want, Spike, believe what you want" With a guttural yell Spike leapt forward tackling the vampire to the ground. Spike began to hit Angelus face, his fists soon becoming stained with blood. Angelus kept laughing.

"Stop. Bloody. Laughing!" Spike punctuated each word with a blow. Angelus was trying to say something. Spike stopped hitting him to listen.

"Boom"

* * *

Xander rushed Riley over to Willow.

"Will! He got Riley! We need some Wicca healing stat!" Willow turned around, panic flaring in her eyes as she saw the severity of Riley's wounds.

"Quick put him on the floor" Xander silently complied. Willow knelt down next to the body and began to mutter an incantation.

"Incidere per vigoratus!" Green energy leapt from her hands and entered Riley's throat. "I've stopped the bleeding, we'll have to get some of the Slayers to get him to a hospital"

"You do that! Keep working on the spell to get his soul back I'm going in after Spike!" Xander ran back towards the warehouse. The shockwave from the sudden explosion sent him flying into the air.

* * *

Spikes ears were ringing. Blood dripped from a cut on his forehead, blinding him. His face was covered in soot. Every movement was agony. He wiped blood from his eyes and struggled to see through the smoke in front of him. Angelus was nowhere to be found. Wordlessly he began to scream as frustration welled up inside of him.

Suddenly Angelus appeared out of the grey smoke, his face an inhuman mask. Spike was on him in a moment, viciously tearing into the vampire.

Angelus snarled like an animal raking his nails across Spikes face drawing blood. Screaming in agony, Spike kneed the vampire in the face, clutching at the wound. Angelus leapt at Spike shoving him into the wall. Spike felt his head slam into it. Clutching Spikes face, Angelus kept ramming his head into the wall, causing red spots to appear on the edge of his vision. Spikes knee crashed into the vampires groin causing the creature to relinquish his grip. Angelus doubled over in pain. Seizing the advantage Spike grabbed the vampire and body slammed him into the wall.

* * *

Willow sat in the middle of a chalk circle, cross legged and her eyes closed. Xander and Giles looked on silently. Slowly Willow began to chant.

_Quod perditum est, invenietur_

_What is lost return_

_Not dead…nor not of the living. Spirits of the interregnum I call_

* * *

Angelus had recovered and had grappled Spike to the floor. He reached for a sharp piece of metal and stabbed Spike in the side, making him howl in pain.

* * *

_Gods bind him. Cast him from the evil realm_

* * *

Using all his strength, Spike threw Angelus off of him. Angelus landed on the floor with a thud. Holding his side, Spike walked over to the vampire and kicked him in the face.

* * *

Willows eyes filled with power.

_Te implore, Doamne, nu ignora aceasta rugaminte_

_I implore you, Lord, do not ignore this request._

* * *

Angelus tried to get up. Spike backhanded him fiercely across the face.

* * *

_Nici mort, nici al finite_

_Neither dead, nor of the living_

* * *

Snarling, Spike wandered over to get his sword. He picked it up and began to walk towards the vampire. Slowly, Spike raised the sword, intending to strike.

* * *

_Reverto suus animus ut Angelus_

_Return the soul to Angelus._

_Asa sa fie! Asa sa fie! Acum!_

_So it shall be! So it shall be! NOW!_

* * *

"Spike…w…w…what are you doing here?" Angel looked around confused.

"This better not be a trick" Spike warned, thunder in his eyes.

"W…w…whats going on?"

"Angel?"

"Yeah…God…whats happened…I was…I became…him" Angel cradled his head in his hands, in shock.

"You…don't remember do you?"

"Remember what?" Angel asked, genuinely confused. Spikes face was impassive as he lent down to whisper in Angel's ear.

"Remember"

"Remember what?...God…no…no…NO!" he screamed "NO!" He punched the floor with his fists screaming over and over "NO NO WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

Spike watched the display of grief, no emotion evident on his face.

"Why did you lose it?" he asked quietly.

"What?" Angel asked, his voice choked with grief.

"Your soul. Why did you lose it?"

"I…there…was this man. He offered me my hearts desire. I…I…I've been less…than what I was these past few years…I accepted. I never wanted this" he said morosely. "I was weak" He looked imploringly at Spike.

"You…were…WEAK?" Spike yelled "Angel you're a bloody HERO! WHEN YOU'RE WEAK PEOPLE DIE!"

"I…know" Angel bowed his head.

"Not bloody good enough" Spike growled. "She's still dead"

"It wasn't meant to happen this way…things were meant to be different"

"Yeah. They were. Its your fault they turned out this way. Or did you forget L.A? Because I've had to live with it every day since."

"No…I remember L.A. It still haunts me"

"Good"

They stood in silence, the only sound the quiet flickering of flames.

"Kill me Spike" Angel muttered.

"What?

"Kill me" Angel repeated. "I can't live with what I've done"

Spike walked over to the vampire, sword in hand. Angel bowed his head waiting for the killing stroke. He raised as head as heard the sword clang to the ground.

"No" Spike said quietly. "You want to end it, you do it yourself. We have to live with what you've done. Why shouldn't you?" Spike began to walk away.

"Spike…why?"

Spike called back without turning around.

"You're beneath me"

* * *

"There he is!"

Willow caught sight of Spike emerging from the flaming warehouse. He limped towards them slowly. As if he couldn't see them he limped past them.

"Spike" Giles called "Is it over?"

"He's done" Spike replied.

"Did the spell work?" Willow asked

"Does it matter?"

"Where are you going?" Xander asked.

"To see Dawn"

* * *

She slowly became aware of her body again. Slowly she was regaining consciousness. Where was she? There was a constant beeping sound. Groggily she opened her eyes. The room was dark and smelled of antiseptic. Slowly she remembered how she ended up here. Angel…he'd gone crazy had killed Buffy, made her watch. Then he'd…he'd moved on to her and…Soon the room was filled with the sound of Dawn Summers sobbing.

"Nibblet?" asked a familiar voice.

"Spike? Spike! How long have you…"

"About a week Nibblet. I've been waiting for you to wake up for a week"

"Angel" she gasped "Someone has to…"

"I got him Nibblet. I got him"

"Oh Spike…" she surrendered herself to her grief, her body shaking with silent tears. Tenderly Spike wrapped his arms around her, soothing her.

"I'll protect you" he whispered "I'll protect you"

* * *

Giles locked the door to his study, and slowly limped to behind his desk. He sat down and stared blankly at the papers in front of him. It was over. They'd avenged her. Sadly he looked at a framed photo on his desk. The smiling faces of Buffy and Joyce Summers beamed up at him. He caressed the photo sadly. Now they were both gone. A silent tear crept down his cheek.

"Rupert Giles?" asked a sweet, tender voice from in front of him. A little girl was sitting on the chair in front of him. He recoiled, surprised.

"Who are you?" he asked

"I'm the oracle. The new one"

"Buffy met your predecessor"

"I know"

"…Of course you did. Why are you here?"

"To deliver a message"

"By all means"

"Keep Spike close. The fate of the world depends on it."

"…Are you sure?" he sighed.

"Positive" the girl beamed "He will save all of you"

"Is there anything else?"

"Yes there is, she wanted me to you that…she's happy. She's found peace."

"Who?"

The girl merely smiled and vanished.

"…Buffy?" Giles asked quietly, alone in the darkness of his room.

* * *

The sound of glasses tinkling and laughter filled the Watchers Council meeting room.

"Man, you remember when she first came to Sunnydale? How into her I was?" Xander laughed wiping tears from his eyes.

"Yes" said Willow quickly "Some of us more than others I bet!"

"Aw I'm sorry Will. But hey" he gestured to the rest of the room "she made a hell of a first impression!"

"Yes" Giles laughed heartily "She most certainly did"

"Not the kinda girl you could forget" Spike agreed taking a swig from his beer "Hell knows I tired"

"In so many ways we all just revolved around her you know" Willow said warmly "If it wasn't for her mission I doubt we'd all be as close as we were"

"You were tight" Riley agreed, his voice hoarse. Willow's spell had repaired most of the damage done by Angel's knife, yet his voice still hadn't got back to normal. "As an outsider who came in a bit late…you were a tough lot to get in with!"

"I sympathise mate" Spike inclined his bottle "I'm still trying"

"Actually Spike" began Giles slowly, as if he wasn't too sure that he should be saying anything "I wanted to talk to you about that"

"What is it Rupert?"

"I'd like to offer you a position here at the Watchers council"

The room fell silent.

"What?"

"A new position, a hybrid of two roles in fact. Both Watcher and Slayer"

"Whoa hold up there mate. Slayer?"

"Yes…do you recall that last day at the Hellmouth?"

"Kind of hard to forget really" Spike replied sarcastically.

"Do you recall how you managed to get into the Hellmouth?"

"Yeah we all cut our palms, joined hands and…oh…I think I see where you're going. That isn't possible surely?"

"What?" Xander asked cluelessly "What isn't possible?"

"Its just a theory, nothing more but I think Spike may well be our first male slayer"

"Wha…how?"

"When he and the other Slayers joined hands in the Hellmouth, I think slayer blood mixed with Spikes and due to Spike's…unusual circumstances, he became a slayer"

"That makes some kind of sense" Willow agreed "But how does that explain Spike doing his…" She leaned over to Xander "Whats that guys name again? The comic guy? Who does all the resurrecting?"

"Ra's ah Ghul" Xander said knowingly.

"How you ever" Spike said incredulously "Ever managed to get out of your parents basement amazes me"

"I think its cute" beamed Willow and lent in for a kiss.

"Yes yes Xander is very cute" Giles said dismissively.

"G-man I didn't know you cared"

"Back to the matter at hand…no that does not explain Spikes resurrection. That will have to be revealed to us in time"

"So Spike…" asked Willow "You staying?"

Spike considered for a minute.

"Sure. Guess I can keep you lot out of trouble for a while"

"Brilliant" muttered Giles, less than enthused.

"I just want to get tomorrow over with" Spike muttered.

"You sure you still want to do this?" Xander asked

"Yeah I have to say goodbye"

* * *

The cars pulled to a stop outside of the cemetery. Spike stepped out of the car. He was dressed in his customary black but with dark sunglasses to protect his eyes from the glare of the sun. In his hand he held a small bouquet of flowers. The sun felt good on his face. Really good.

Xander, Willow, Giles and Dawn stepped out of the cars behind him. It was Dawns first day out of hospital. As soon as she heard what Spike had planned to do she had demanded to be taken along.

Silently he walked over to Buffy's gravestone. He knelt down and placed the flowers on her grave. Slowly he reached out and touched the inscription there

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2009

DEVOTED SISTER, BELOVED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD A LOT MORE

NOW SHES GONE

SHE MEANS IT THIS TIME

"Hey pet. How's tricks?" he began uselessly. Nervously he chuckled "Damn I'm useless at this". He rose to his feet.

"I…I love you Slayer. I'll always love you. I love you like I've loved no one else. I promise you I'll watch over them for you. Ripper's already asked me to hang around. How about that luv? Acceptance by Watcher man himself!"

"I…was there that night you died. I should have…I could have saved you pet. I could have. God I'm sorry"

"I'm an idiot. I've spent these past few years wallowing in my own self pity. I always…always assumed you'd be there for me when I snapped out of it. That we'd be together. Life's a bitch huh?" Tears began welling up in his eyes.

"We could have had a life!" Tears were falling freely now "Could have been happy. God I'm sorry I just…I love you so much" He fell to the ground head cradled in his hands and surrendered himself to the tears.

"Spike…" Dawn was at his back. She put her hand on his shoulder. "I miss her too" Tears were running down her face. "I miss her too"

"We all do" Xander said. He, Giles and Willow joined them.

"Oh Spike" said Dawn quietly. She knelt beside him and wrapped her arms around him, both of their bodies shaking with emotion. Willow let out a choked sob and fell to the round wrapping her arms around both figures. Xander's eye misted over with tears. He looked over at Giles and saw the older man was struggling to hold back tears himself. Xander wrapped his arms around Giles, both men taking comfort from each other. The sobbing group stayed that way for a while, each surrendering to grief in their own way. As they walked away from the cemetery, as much as they wouldn't admit it, they had formed a bond with Spike.

He was family.

**Authors Note: I hope that if you've read that you enjoyed it! I do have more ideas planned but I cant really puta date on when you'll first start seeing those. But hopefully before long, the next installment will be up and running! I'll try and get a series outline up on my profile before long, so check that for updates.**


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